Star Wars: Episode IV “Iconscope”

There you are on a lush, forest planet on a commando mission to blow up your enemy’s hidden base. Thanks to your big buddy’s weakness for carrion, you get captured by little teddy bear-looking guys wearing hoods, jabbering on in a language you can’t understand. You try to talk some sense into them, but instead they tie you to a log and prepare to set you over the fire. You start to get worried when they break out the A1 Sauce.

If only there was a way you could tell them who you are, what you’re doing on their homeworld, and that you’re fighting for their freedom.

You could tell them about your own humble beginnings on a desert planet far away from the bright center of the universe…

How you and a friend rescued an imprisoned princess…

And then destroyed a massive battle station that had the capability to blow up entire planets…

If only you had, say, a handy infographic that told your story; something that can be universally understood across any communication boundary. If only your protocol droid was here to wow them with some cool sound effects from the ILM archives.

Sadly, you don’t have a copy of Wayne Dorrington’s Star Wars: Episode IV “iconscope” with you. If you did, maybe that smell of slowly cooked meat wouldn’t be your own backside. Oh, well. I’m sure someone else will save the galaxy this time.