Star Wars: Episode IV “Iconscope”

There you are on a lush, forest planet on a commando mission to blow up your enemy’s hidden base.  Thanks to your big buddy’s weakness for carrion, you get captured by little teddy bear-looking guys wearing hoods, jabbering on in a language you can’t understand.  You try to talk some sense into them, but instead they tie you to a log and prepare to set you over the fire.  You start to get worried when they break out the  A1 Sauce.

If only there was a way you could tell them who you are, what you’re doing on their homeworld, and that you’re fighting for their freedom.

You could tell them about your own humble beginnings on a desert planet far away from the bright center of the universe…

How you and a friend rescued an imprisoned princess…

And then destroyed a massive battle station that had the capability to blow up entire planets…

If only you had, say, a handy infographic that told your story; something that can be universally understood across  any communication boundary.  If only your protocol droid was here to wow them with some cool sound effects from the ILM archives.

Sadly, you don’t have a copy of Wayne Dorrington’s Star Wars: Episode IV “iconscope” with you.  If you did, maybe that smell of slowly cooked meat wouldn’t be your own backside.  Oh, well.  I’m sure someone else will save the galaxy this time.

One Response to Star Wars: Episode IV “Iconscope”

  1. Ok, this is what needs to happen. Someone needs to print this out using some material that lasts a reaaaaaally long time. Then bury it some place that isn't likely to get dug up any time soon. And then, 500 years from now maybe, someone will dig it up and be like "WTF?!" and maybe think it's real history.

    Or something. ;)

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