Apple Awarded Patent for Time Machine. Product Launch Scheduled for 1985

by Derek Clark
Contributing Writer, [GAS]

Remember as a kid how you’d dream about all the cool stuff you’d one day enjoy in the future? Well, you probably don’t have a pink hoverboard or self-lacing sneakers just yet, but chances are, Apple has already patented it.

Recently, Mashable.com reported that Apple was granted 563 patents in 2010. 563! That’s a lot of lowercase i’s. Think about it. What’s the best idea you had last year? A cat litter box shaped like a chocolate chip cookie? A Snuggie tank top? A towel that dries towels? Whatever it was, I’m sure even the janitor at Apple probably thought of ten things way cooler.

Here are just a few patented ideas that Apple’s custodial engineer may or may not have helped design…

iBike: Apple’s smart bike concept is like the Nike+ running system, but for those who prefer to pedal. Sure, you’ll be able to monitor your heart rate, speed, distance, etc. on your iPod or iPhone, but the system could be utilized to create live, competitive gaming between you and other riders. The entire city could be your Mario Kart racetrack. Eat my stardust, Bowser!

iKey: Do you really need all those jagged pieces of metal stabbing you in your pocket or hiding like a frightened turtle at the bottom of your purse? Apple doesn’t think so. Your iPhone already does everything else for you. Why not let it unlock your car and home with a proximity-based PIN code system? Of course, saying ‘open sesame’ while doing it won’t be necessary, but you’ll do it anyway.

iHeadset: Hold up. Why do we need another douche-defining, bluetooth earpiece, you say? ‘Cause it’s got lasers! Not really, but it would have standalone media playback functionality. So fortunately, the asshats that insist on wearing it every minute of the day can at least pretend to be listening to music. Although, I’m not sure their Winger albums still count as music.

And that’s just the tip of the iIceberg. Who knows? Maybe Steve Jobs’ recent leave of absence is just him testing out the beta version of the Apple Time Machine. No, we’re not talking about this one here. So, if you start seeing unexplained iPhones or strange old guys wearing mock turtlenecks and blue jeans popping up in old photos from 1985, it probably means you can go ahead and download that new time machine app in the App Store. Hell, it’s only 99¢!



Trademarkville! Zynga stakes claim on Facebook “villes”

The upcoming Facebook game Blingville is still in beta testing and already the folks at Zynga are pulling out the legal guns. They sent the creators a cease-and-desist letter, claiming that the new game’s title is infringing Zynga’s trademark in the “ville” franchise of Zynga’s Farmville, Cityville, Fishville, etc.

Blingville is already fighting back though, having filed a lawsuit requesting a declaratory judgment that their “ville” is perfectly legal. And though they’re claiming that Zynga’s accusation is harming their game, I suspect the publicity is doing exactly the opposite. The Facebook page already has almost 15,000 fans even without a game open to the public.

Of course, when it comes to copying, here’s a question: What’s more similar, Farmville and Blingville – or Farmville and Farm Town? This is an interesting move from Farmville’s creators, who have been repeatedly accused of doing a little copying themselves. Though trademark unlike copyright is more concerned with market confusion (us poor Facebook users might mistakenly believe that Zynga created Blingville!), it does seem a bit odd for Zynga to get a monopoly on “ville.”



Wolfenstein 1-D

The game that changed everything, now converted to a one-pixel line! From WONDER-TONIC, Wolfenstein 1-D:

In 1992, Wolfenstein 3-D revolutionized video games and created the 3D first-person shooter genre. Now, after decades of development, Wolfenstein 3-D has been converted to breathtaking, epoch-making 1-D. You can now play the game in a single, dazzling one-pixel line.

Got a lot of time (and looking for a squinting-induced headache)? Play now!

Android in orbit: Google phone headed for space

British researchers plan to send a cellphone into orbit to discover if it will still work. If it does, it could mean major changes to the way satellites are used.

The project, run by the University of Surrey and Surrey Satellite Technology Limited will involve sending a satellite named STRaND-1 into orbit. The 30cm-long satellite will have a mass of just 4kg and include the components pictured above plus an as-yet undetermined handset, though the BBC reports it will run Google’s Android system.

The phone will be a standard “off-the-shelf” model that costs less than £300 (approx US$500) and will be used without any physical modification. To protect the handset, it will be placed inside the casing of the satellite, which will have a small hole to allow access to the camera lens.

Once in orbit, the phone will be remotely tested to discover which of its features is still operational. If the results prove favorable, control of the satellite will then be switched over so it can be operated via the phone, using a custom-made application.

Lead researcher Chris Bridges noted that many existing smartphone capabilities such as video camera, GPS and Wi-Fi are both smaller and considerably cheaper on a phone handset than existing satellite designs: “If a smartphone can be proved to work in space, it opens up lots of new technologies to a multitude of people and companies for space who usually can’t afford it. It’s a real game-changer for the industry,”

The ongoing collaboration between the commercial company and the university is said to be designed to make it possible for researchers and students to work on real-world (or rather real-solar system) projects.

While this is the first time an unaccompanied smartphone will have been sent into orbit, an iPhone has been sent 100,000 feet high attached to a weather balloon, alongside an operational camcorder. The Brooklyn Space Program, a hobby affair of a father and son, didn’t actually use the phone in space: instead they used its GPS locator to find the craft when it returned to earth.

Little Big Planet in Real Life [Video]

A rather entertaining video that simulates a game of little big planet using 2 sackboys and some cardboard to re-create the game’s scenery. Check it out!

Speaking of Little Big Planet, have you guys tried the new game? I’ve bought it for my son’s birthday, but can’t get myself to crack the game open to check it out before the big day. :)

Bad Project: Lady Gaga Parody for Grad Students

If you’re a PhD student in a science discipline, this will probably make you laugh or cry. Otherwise it is probably just slightly odd, though slightly odd in a rather entertaining way.