The Gamer’s Alphabet

So, being the loyal readers that all of you are, you’ve seen our awesome Geek Alphabet, right? But what about the Gamer’s Alphabet? Made by Artist/Project Manager/Penny Arcade user ElJeffe as a book for his daughter Madilyn, the Gamer’s Alphabet illustrates each of the letters of the alphabet and pairs them with something related to the world of gaming. And when you read the whole thing from beginning to end, it makes a really geeky poem! Check it out:

A is Atari, the first on the scene.
B is Bits, be they 8 or 16.
C for Controller Cords stretched ‘cross the floor.
D for the Dreamcast, a console no more.
E is Ecco, the porpoise-y sea hero.
F is for Fantasies Final… Look, chocobos!
G is for Genesis, 16-bit mirth.
H is for Hyrule, land of Link’s birth.
I is for Infocom’s text-based frivoloties
J is for John Carmack’s first-person novelties.
K for Konami’s dark vampire tales.
L for the Lemmings who march without fail.
M is for Mario. Run, goombas, run!
N for Nintendo, the first name is fun.
O is for Oddworld, with games strage and clever.
P is for Pac-Man, who caused quite a fever.
Q is for Q-Bert’s curse-filled speech bubble.
R is for Ridley, who gave Samus trouble.
S is for Sonic, his fleet feet reknowned.
T is for Tetris blocks falling in mounds.
U is for Ulala’s fast, funky feet.
V is for Video cards, fast obsolete.
W for Wizardry; through dungeons we’d scurry.
X for the Xbox, as big as Missouri.
Y is for Yoshi, a plumber’s best friend.
Z is for Zelda, and here this rhyme ends.

Many thanks to ElJeffe for giving us permission to publish his alphabet!




125 Responses to The Gamer’s Alphabet

    • Actually, dumbass, it's called a half rhyme. Something you should have learned about in grade school. Be quiet.

    • please refer yourself to the rants of comment #1, it's called a half rhyme, something even my 9 year old second cousin knows, seeing as how both words and in the _Er sound, it does qualify for a rhyme, just as how Shakespeare coined the word ne'er to rhyme with the word where. you sir, are the fail.

    • Actually, dumbass, it’s called a half rhyme. Something you should have learned about in grade school. Be quiet.

    • slant rhyme
       
      –noun Prosody .
      rhyme in which either the vowels or the consonants of stressed syllables are identical, as in eyes, light; years, yours.

      I just increased your intelligence points by one. You're welcome.

      • The term you are searching for is an 'oblique rhyme'. A half-rhyme makes use of assonance, not alliteration. Alliteration is the syllabic repetition of a consonant sound at the beginning of a word, assonance refers to vowel sounds (which make the half-rhyme possible) in one of the conjunctive syllables of a word.

        I won't even bother explaining trochees, spondees, anapests or iambs to you.

    • Seeing as the guys at Penny Arcade would probably have to spend a ton of money even getting this copywritten due to all of the references to various intellectual properties inside, you'll probably just have to make your own. They could be put out of business for even selling something like that….

    • Seeing as the guys at Penny Arcade would probably have to spend a ton of money even getting this copywritten due to all of the references to various intellectual properties inside, you’ll probably just have to make your own. They could be put out of business for even selling something like that….

    • No, Thomas is right.

      The definition of a bit is something along the lines of: a singular binary digit that may have a value of 1 or 0.

      I suppose it also could have read "B is for Bits, be there 8 or 16".

  34. Yeah, I noticed that too. I'm pretty sure the PC gamers' cards rape anything the 360 or PS3 has to offer…. ATI HD 5970 anyone? Obsolete my ass. Can the 360 play games on 6 screens? No? OK then. I loved the rest of it though.

    • yeah, sure the Atari wasn't the first console, but it WAS the first one that everyone knew about. when the BB first came out, it was fairly underground, and the few who did, weren't really impressed by it,

  39. Im pretty sure this person meant they come out with a new graphics card every 6 months, making the old one obsolete…

  40. I saw this too, and even before coming across it, I noticed that the writing and rhymes were kinda amateur. Ironically, like so many games, this seems like it was rushed to completion without regard for final quality.

    I'd like to say it's a clever concept with poor execution, but the sad thing is that it's not really even that clever.

  42. if you put xbox in there you have to put the playstation as well, sorry fail for possible favouritism xD

  46. This is really clever and i will make one for my son when he gets old enough. I would chide other posters for being too picky but one of the great things about gamers is that we hold everything to a higher standard. Still don't be the critical dumb ass who shouts shopped at everything.

      • psh, my "benefit buddy" informs me that i'm better than anyone else she has ever been with before, nerds watch more porn, so we know more stuff. and not to mention the number of digits i've gotten for explaining why (Jeff Anderson) Randal's argument about there being innocent's on the second death star was bogus (clerks)

  51. P is for…Playstation. Pac Mac certainly deserves his creds, but if you're gonna drop Nintendo and XBox, then PS certainly has to make the list. Cool share though…thanks!

  53. Am I the only one who teared up from nostalgia here? I really want game devs, writers, and creators to read this. I think they'd enjoy reading something like this as a way of saying thanks for making our childhoods.

  59. The "copy editor" at this publishing company should be fired. Frivoloties, reknowned and strage are not words.

    • There was no copy editor…someone just wrote it for their child and got it bound at a print shop, the shop probably bound it without giving the body copy a second look.

  60. The "copy editor" at this publishing company should be fired. Frivoloties, reknowned and strage are not words.

  70. Are people actually ARGUING about this post? Worthless. There are real things in this world to be concerned about. How completely worthless someone's life must be to get worked up over a funny post. Just sad.