Before humanity, there were only 3 sacred laws of war throughout the galaxy. No nuclear weapons, no chemical weapons, and no biological weapons. Everything else was on the table until that fateful day when the Klaarathi invaded a small human mining colony to gain control of a delithrium deposit. Even on a galactic scale delithrium was an extremely rare ore and controlling it could make or break an empire.
Humanity was still a fractured people whose home planet was not United but instead split into hundreds of different tribes. This particular mining colony was controlled by humans who belonged to one of the tribes referred to as the British. A small island people with a penchant for exploration and colonization who had once controlled much of their home planet.
This made the Klaarathi mission to take control of the colony seem like a walk in the park. A mere 1000 of the British tribesman were defending the colony when the invasion began. Not wanting to destroy the rare minerals an orbital bombardment was off the table and a frontal ground assault was required, but against 30,000 Klaarathi warriors, it should have been over before it began.
Before the invasion the humans had been given an ultimatum, leave the colony within 7 days or face certain death. The humans did not give an answer and on the 8th day, the assault began. The first wave of 4000 Klaarathi charged across the barren landscape toward the mine entrance based at the bottom of the mountain. The humans’ noisy primitive weaponry exploding with ruthless efficiency tearing the ranks of warriors apart. The humans had ‘dug in’ creating a labyrinth of trenches and dugouts which made direct fire from the Klaarathi completely ineffective. Over the next several days more assaults were made with little to no effect, the human way of trench warfare was crude yet effective.
The proposed rapid conquering of the small mining colony had become a protracted siege, the stalemate lasted months and Klaarathi reinforcements and reserves were eventually brought in to cope with the losses. Then the tide began to turn, due to the blockade the humans had begun to run out of ammunition, small raiding parties attacked the trench system, and the humans’ firepower grew weaker each day until it stopped altogether. Admiring the humans’ heroic defense an envoy was sent to the frontline before the final assault.
The envoy approached the lines with a white flag and one of the British officers met him. The Klaarathian envoy proclaimed “My general says there is no point in continuing this fighting! He wishes to discuss the terms of surrender!”. Without a moment of hesitation, the British officer replied “We do not have the proper facilities to take you all prisoner, I’m sorry, we’d like to, but it’s just not possible”
Upon hearing the exchange the Klaarathian command flew into a fit of rage, every warrior was brought to the front. 20,000 in total lined up a few hundred meters from the human lines. The humans in what seemed like their final act of madness or defiance leaped from their trenches with bayonets fixed to their rifles, how could they of hoped to win the day using makeshift spears?
That’s when it happened, a weapon so deadly and terrifying that it caused the galaxy to rewrite the sacred laws of warfare. As the humans lined up for their final charge they were accompanied by men wearing checkered skirts, these harbingers of doom and destruction. The foul blasts of their acoustic weaponry decimated the Klaarathi ranks, their skulls exploded from the deafening screeching and wailing. Those who were not killed outright were incapacitated and disabled to the point that the human line casually walked through their ranks, finishing them off with their bayonets.
After this battle, the sacred laws were rewritten.
No nuclear weapons. No chemical weapons. No biological weapons. No bagpipes.
Republished with permission from the author, u/mandosporian. Image created using Stable Diffusion.