Woman Plans To Marry Tetris

A Florida woman says she plans to marry a Tetris cartridge. Fractal Tetris Huracan says she was previously in love with a graphical calculator.

Huracan appeared on British television today to discuss how she identifies as objectum sexual, meaning she is attracted to objects rather than people. Despite the name, she says the condition is more about deep romantic feelings than sexual attraction.

That’s not a first: she joined a support group headed by a woman who famously said she wanted to marry the Eiffel tower. However, for Huracan the objects in question tend to be related to technology.

She says that although she had strong feelings towards several gadgets and robots, she first became focused on a specific object when she developed feelings for a Garmin GPS device. Her longest-lasting attraction to date was with a graphing calculator that she named Pierre De Fermat and which served as her prom date. That relationship ended when Pierre short circuited and although she got a replacement of the same make and model, she didn’t have the same feelings.

Now she has fallen for Tetris and although she plans a marriage ceremony with a specific cartridge, she says she is in love with the game itself. She told the TV hosts that clearing lines in the game gave her a satisfaction that makes the game beautiful.


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