The Demise of Guys? [Video]

Psychologist Philip Zimbardo asks, “Why are boys struggling?” He shares some stats (lower graduation rates, greater worries about intimacy and relationships) and suggests a few reasons — and he asks for your help! Watch his talk, then take his short 10-question survey.



8 Responses to The Demise of Guys? [Video]

  1. I tend to agree with what this gentleman is saying. However I would add that there are many changing social norms that are contributing to this besides video games and porn (though they are significant factors).

    We live in a world where a boy in kindergarten can be suspended for sexual harassment if he kisses a girl. Where a simple fight between two boys results in "alternative" education. We have "Zero Tolerance" for just about anything.

    We also live in a world where men are made to look like fools. Just look at Home Depot / Lowes commercials where women are presented as Can Do while Men can't.

    And finally, our society is minimizing the roll of the Father. Boy's need their Dads more than ever but divorce courts always prefer to give custody to the Mother or allow situations where being a Father to a boy is not possible. Then there are fathers that simply don't do their job and force the roll onto women (which they are not suited for). This happened to me but I was lucky. My Grandpa stepped into that roll and he was 10 times the man my father was. My Grandpa was such a fantastic "Dad" to me that he even taught me to forgive my father and have a great relationship with him in adulthood. Perhaps most importantly, my Grandpa helped me develop a relationship with Christ that continues to grow today.

    For me personally, this is a good thing in the short term because I find it easy to compete against younger men in the workforce. I feel I can easily ride past retirement and never worry about keeping a job. I don't worry about working with women because my Grandpa raised me to be a gentleman. I also find that women don't really want to compete with me. They just want to work with me.

    • I agree with just about everything you said I.E. Brothers in Christ and such. I would like to add that yes boys and men have changed but I think this is also a result of women changeing. Women have taken a needed 180 from the 30's and belive me I'm all for women's rights but maybe they went to far. I very well could be wrong but it seems to me that women have replaced men in many facets and men need to stand up for their rights as well. This is more geared for the home than the workplace. If we are to be on equal footing we must share rights equally. Don't call me a pig for thinking women shouldn't serve in the military and then call me a pig for not opening the door on a date. You can't have it both ways. Men see this and are confused. And I can't blame em!

    • Joe, you and I are in the same boat. I’ve gotten so used to not being accepted (especially by women) so much, I don’t give a damn anymore, and do what the hell I want anyway; acceptance or not. Maybe that’s what being a man really is about; don’t give a shit, and do what (legally) makes you happy, provided you still have the balls to do so. I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing a severe drop in numbers of (actual) men in the world. I’ve tried figuring out what the cause of this was to no avail. I suppose we’re a doomed species after all, at least, at this rate if nothing is figured out soon enough. Anyway…

      I think what’s also missing from this is what many comedians have been stating in many of their routines. Have you ever noticed how difficult women make dating and even relationships for men; whether your trying to get one, or are in one? We are ourselves (the best advice in just about any case for anyone, regardless of situation), you change us in just about every visible facet possible, essentially squeezing our balls until they atrophy off; we are gentleman, and we make a simple mistake (like being essentially a welcome mat, by will, mind you; we aren’t normally so, in some cases, we were raised to be such, it’s actually hard to monitor/control if we are welcome mats or not sometimes), we can’t live it down (provided second date and onward; or else it’s a deal-breaker); and since when are men ever given an opportunity to justify their actions if they legitimately screwed up, and truly want to make up for it without becoming a slave, imprisoned, or sued? From the looks of things, not often; and “it’s better off that way” according to most women, and brainwashed men. Bull. Shit. There are times where we’re setup with no way to either detect, or avoid it without any way to save our asses either; and even if we do stand our ground, WE’RE THE ABUSERS EVEN IF WE’RE THE VICTIMS.

      I speak from experience; lots of it. I mean, getting 100% on Super Meat Boy or beating I Want To Be The Guy on the hardest difficulty is easier than dating in Real Life, or even obtaining one. Hell, getting a life is easier (getting/keeping a job in this crappy economy, being able to pay off bills, maintaining a means of making a living, keeping a functional vehicle to do all of the above, etc.), I mean, I have a life, and it wasn’t easy to get either, but comparatively, it’s one of the easiest things to do compared to dating or maintaining a relationship. How about you give us men a break once in awhile, and not be so damn demanding and living up to “Reality TV” standards. That is not reality, this hellhole we call Real Life is. I’ve completely lost ANY motivation to seek out a date due to such unfairness in difficulty and (many double) standards for years already; and you know what? I’ve actually a been happier and more peaceful man no longer having to meet such ridiculous standards that makes becoming an astronaut or a nuclear physicist look simple by comparison.

      I’ll admit, looking back in time, men were total dicks to women, and I honestly apologize for us men about that, because even I can see a few things have been done that were at rather inhumane levels. But it seems revenge runs deep, and women won’t be satisfied in this modern age unless men are put in the same conditions that have been outdated for a considerable enough time, and that just looks downright childish nowadays.

      What happened to compromise? I mean, I used to support women’s rights as well back in the day, until they became an amazon force of nature castrating any man they came across for being themselves. Can’t we find a common ground that makes us mutually happy again? I mean, as things are looking these days “All’s fair in Love and War.” is looking like complete bullshit. At least war is looking more fair, but love, that has lost meaning for eons. I can see why the institution of marriage is even on it’s last legs. If this makes me appear to be a callous asshole, so be it. If you don’t want to accept the truth, continue watching the Lifetime Network and Jersey Shore.

      Here’s something to look at in the meantime, and check out the Real Life examples (in the Other category) as well:

      I’m aware Tropes (and troper tales) doesn’t make the best argument, but you’ll be surprised at just how many examples exist in all media regarding this issue. Regardless of what punishment comes my way, if a woman abuses me, I will stand my ground no matter what with my head held high (unless I’m being the bigger man and just going with the punches anyway if an argument is utterly pointless). I’ve had enough of it my whole life. I hold no shame to admit that a majority of abuse I got my whole life was delivered from girls. If anything, learning how to cope with it, and even know how to defend myself and stand my ground from experience ought to make me more of a man over time. My fear of women in those regards are gone, but my cautiousness remains.

      I just have one last question to ask: If it’s standard that “Boys can’t hit girls”, then why is it okay for girls to constantly torment (or beat up) boys and get away with it, and the boy’s self defense is received as abuse towards the girl; even if it was witnessed clear as day? I don’t condone abuse of any sort, but I do believe it’s okay for a boy to hit a girl if it’s in purely out of self defense. Many a time, I wish I had that option; if only the consequences weren’t so damn harsh and unjust.

  2. And no one will talk about the Male Achretype for the last 25 years? Homer Simpson. He is a baffoon who in incompetent. But does what he can and continually fails. I have met many a woman who expects this to be the norm, especially since most other sitcoms have picked up on the "Men are incompetent or children" in the media and react that way dispite evidence to the contrary.

    As with all things I think it is a multifacet issue, but I also think there are large segments of the population and in education in particular that think "Maleness" is a disease. I also thought it was interesting that he said "Labeled ADHD" and not dignosed….course we could also talk about the statistic he mentioned about the 5 times high occurance of ADHD in boys, and the usual reginme is to give these children psycho-active substances while their brains are still developing…a whole other topic in and of itself.

    • A man constantly jumping back an forth between tasks is said to have ADHD.
      A woman jumping back and forth between tasks just the same is said to be multitasking.

  3. Hey guys, you make some decent points (not that I agree with some of them) but the fact is that every post so far (except Joe's) is filled with spelling and grammatical errors. Fair or not, the world and the workforce consider things like that to be indicative of intelligence and levels of effort.

    Yes, men are sometimes portrayed as buffoons in commercials and TV shows. And women are sometimes portrayed as brainless sex objects to be conquered. Perhaps what we take away from this is that 97 percent of TV is a waste of time. People who spend too many hours of their lives hooked up to it are not going to be the most intelligent, analytical thinkers…so it's not surprising that ad agencies use the most basic stereotypes to sell product.

    Despite the fact that mothers do usually get custody of their children, fathers' roles have been FAR from marginalized. On the contrary, fathers today are expected (or hoped, at least) to provide a much broader range of care and support for children than was true a few generations ago.

    I agree with David in terms of the ADHD frenzy. The problem there, I believe, is that young boys are just not physiologically designed to sit down at a desk for hours on end (our hunter-gatherer past is a blink of the eye evolutionarily.) My belief is that if boys started school a few years older than girls, most of the perceived ADHD would disappear because expectations would be more in line with what they were ready to meet.

    But 1up, please.Women have gone too far in their bid for equal rights? Oh, you mean how we comprise, almost in entirety, all of the top executive roles in companies across the country? Or, how women hold almost every seat in the House and Senate? Or how we're paid more than men doing the same job? And, come on, you're all for women's rights….but women are more geared for the home than the workplace? If you don't know how insulting that is, substitute the name of a minority group for women and home for something else.

    As far as video games and porn — well I've been a gamer for many years and I personally think it's far more beneficial to play a game than passively watch TV. But porn? Yeah, that's a problem on so many levels.

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