6 Epic Rap Battles

By Phil Haney
Guest Blogger

There have been many battles throughout the world that have turned the tides of history. The Battle of Gettysburg, The Battle of Little Big Horn and the Battle of Charlie Sheen, just to name a few. However none of these battles has had an impact on the future of mankind like the NicePeter Epic Rap Battles of History! Therefore we’ve decided to dissect each Epic in an effort to get to know the facts, stats, differences and similarities of these historical and infamous rappers.

WARNING: Most of the following videos contain STRONG LANGUAGE

Beethoven Vs Bieber

Ludwig van Beethoven was a German pianist and considered one of the most important composers of all time. Justin Bieber’s (old) haircut is considered one of the greatest marvels of modern pop music. Together they may have more in common than you think!

  • Beethoven composed his first piece of music when he was 11.
  • Justin Bieber’s first full length studio album was released when he was 16.
  • Due to an illness, Beethoven began to lose his hearing in 1796 and eventually went completely deaf.
  • Due to a campaign by pranksters, thousands voted to have Justin Bieber perform in North Korea.
  • Beethoven was directly inspired by Mozart, and Haydn who was his teacher.
  • Justin Bieber was discovered by Usher, and Ludacris appeared on his first album.
  • Beethoven’s funeral was attended by more than 20,000 Viennese citizens.
  • Justin Beiber’s biopic 3D concert film “Never Say Never” grossed more than 29 million dollars its opening weekend.
  • Justin Bieber was raised by his single mother, but according to People Magazine, his father taught him how to play songs on guitar.
  • Beethoven’s first music teacher was his father, who some believe was very harsh, leading the young future composer to tears.

Darth Vader VS Hitler

Darth Vader was the leader of the Galactic Empire and Adolph Hitler was the leader of the Nazi Third Reich. Both were power-mad in their attempts to take over the galaxy.

  • Hitler was sometimes known to follow a vegetarian diet.
  • While Darth Vader was never depicted eating food, he had the ability to use The Force to choke his opponents into unconsciousness.
  • Hitler was affectionately referred to by his Nazi followers as “Der Führer” meaning The Leader.
  • Darth Vader is referred to by his followers as the Dark Lord of the Sith or Supreme Commander.
  • Hitler originally started out as an aspiring artist rejected by the Academy of Fine arts in Vienna.
  • Concept art for Darth Vader originally had his iconic helmet as a removable part of his space suit and not an ever-present part of the costume.
  • Hitler didn’t have a mustache as a little boy.
  • Darth Vader didn’t have a helmet as a little boy.
  • Before his political career, Hitler was a decorated soldier receiving awards for his bravery in World War I, including the “Iron Cross.”
  • Before his political career, Darth Vader was a Jedi Knight and fought bravely in the Clone Wars.

Hulk Hogan VS Kim Jong-Il

Hulk Hogan is an American Professional Wrestling icon, Kim Jong-Ill is the North Korean “Dear Leader” despot. On paper they seem wildly different but have more in common than you think!

  • Hulk Hogan’s real name is Terry Gene Bollea.
  • Kim Jong Ill’s family surname is “Kim” and not his first name.
  • Hulk Hogan changed his wrestling moniker to “Hollywood Hogan” in the mid 1990’s and captured the WCW World Heavyweight Championship title.
  • Kim Jong Ill loves Hollywood movies and captured South Korean film director Shin Sang-ok, in order to have him make a Godzilla style movie.
  • According to official North Korean propaganda, Kim Jong Il was born inside of a sacred mountain during which a bright star lit up the sky and the seasons spontaneously changed.
  • According to his official Hulkamania propaganda, Hulk Hogan was born in Augusta, Georgia before growing up in Tampa, Florida.
  • Kim Jong Ill holds the titles Chairman of the National Defense Commission, General Secretary of the Workers’ Party of Korea, the Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army, as well as “Supreme Leader,” “Dear Leader,” “our Father,” “the General” and “Generalissimo.”
  • Hulk Hogan holds the titles Six Time WWF/E Champion, Six-time WCW World Heavyweight Champion, WWE World Tag Team Champion, Two Time Royal Rumble Winner as well as The Super Destroyer, Sterling Golden, Terry Boulder, Hulk Machine, Hollywood Hulk Hogan, Hollywood Hogan, and Mr. America.
  • Kim Jung Ill is the world’s largest buyer of Hennessy cognac, buying up to $850,000 worth of the booze a year.
  • Hulk Hogan has licensed his name to a energy drink called Hogan Energy and a line of frozen burgers called Hulkster Burgers sold at Wal-Mart, helping give him a reported net worth of $30 million.

Abe Lincoln VS Chuck Norris

Abraham Lincoln was an ass-kicking president; Chuck Norris is an ass-kicking actor. Together they make America even stronger!

  • Abe Lincoln saved the Union from the Confederacy in the Civil War.
  • Chuck Norris saved the Union from the Soviets in the 1985 film Invasion USA.
  • Abe Lincoln was the Republican nominee and elected president in 1860.
  • Chuck Norris campaigned for Republican presidential candidate Governor Mike Huckabee in 2008.

  • Abe Lincoln was originally a member of the Whig political party.
  • Chuck Norris reportedly wears a wig hair toupee.
  • Abe Lincoln delivered the Emancipation Proclamation in 1863 abolishing slavery.
  • From 1993 to 2001 Chuck Norris delivered eight years of wholesome action packed television goodness abolishing many bad guys in Walker: Texas Ranger.

  • Abe Lincoln was the first US president ever to be assassinated.
  • Chuck Norris is thought to be the first Westerner in the history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt Grand Master.

Sarah Palin VS Lady Gaga

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is one of the country’s most attention-grabbing politicians; Lady Gaga is one of the world’s most attention-grabbing pop singers. Both were listed in the Time magazine 100 list of the most influential people in the world. Together they may have more in common than you think!

  • Sarah Palin’s 2008 Presidential Campaign wardrobe reportedly cost the RNC $150,000.
  • Each of Lady Gaga’s eccentric costumes reportedly cost between $1,500 – $2,000.
  • Sarah Palin placed third in the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant, playing flute in the talent competition.
  • Lady Gaga began playing the piano at the age of four, writing a piano ballad at age thirteen and going on to perform at open mike nights by 14.
  • Sarah Palin sold the Governor’s jet for $2.1 million following through on a campaign promise. (The jet at one point was even listed on eBay.)
  • Lady Gaga has sold more than 14 million albums and 51 million singles.
  • Lady Gaga is an outspoken gay rights icon, attributing much of her success to the LGBT community. She has appeared in support of gay rights issues at many events including the National Equality March.
  • Sarah Palin, during the 2008 presidential campaign, said she supported a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage.
  • Sarah Palin supports aerial wolf hunting, whereby hunters shoot wolves from a flying helicopter, going as far as to propose state legislation in favor of the controversial practice.
  • Lady Gaga wore a dress made out of meat to the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards.

John Lennon VS Bill O’Reilly

John Lennon is one of the most beloved song writers of all time and Bill “Papa Bear” O’Reilly is one of the most watched conservative political commentators on TV. Together.. OK they really have nothing in common, but here are some interesting facts about them.

  • John Lennon wrote the song “Give Peace a Chance.”
  • Bill O’Reilly wrote the book “Pinheads and Patriots.”
  • Bill O’Reilly was sued in 2004 for $60 million over a sexual harassment incident.
  • John Lennon was almost deported New York City by officials in the Nixon administration who were spurned by his anti Vietnam War peace activism.
  • Bill O’Reilly signed a deal with Fox News for a reported $12 million a year to keep his show The O’Reilly Factor on the air.
  • John Lennon signed an autograph for his killer, Mark Chapman, six hours before Chapman shot him.
  • Using techniques developed by the Institute for Propaganda Analysis, researchers studied segments on Bill O’Reilly’s show to determine that O’Reilly was guilty of using propaganda.
  • John Lennon and The Beatle’s song “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” is often determined to be a reference to LSD because of its initials. However Lennon claims the title was that of a painting his then four year old son had drawn.
  • Before achieving huge success on Fox News, Bill O’Reilly was host of the entertainment program Inside Edition from 1991 to 1995.
  • John Lennon formed his first band The Quarrymen in 1956.