The Emperor: The ultimate geek workstation

June 13, 2008 by Geeks are Sexy | 23 comments

Fellow geeks, get ready to start hard-core lusting about what I’m going to show you. Meet “The Emperor”:

Emperor Workstation

Yes, I know, the thing looks like some kind of imperial control station coming right out of a Star Wars movie, but if you look closely, you’ll notice it’s been designed to look like a scorpion’s tail. The geek in me refuses to admit the resemblance, though!

The Emperor features three widescreen monitors, THX Dolby surround sound, air filtering, light therapy, a Web cam, battery backup and many other things to help you fantasize about being a tyrannical army commander controlling a galaxy takeover.

NovelQuest, the company behind the device, will release full specs and price on July 24. Geeks, be ready to cry over your keyboard, because I’m fairly sure most of you won’t be able to afford it!

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23 Responses to “The Emperor: The ultimate geek workstation”

  1. Kiltak says:

    Oh and by the way, The Emperor comes in “Mac” or “PC” flavor… so no need to whine about your favorite OS not being supported. :)

  2. Guy says:

    It should also have a button that automatically downloads porn for you.

  3. Mr Asdf says:

    It has one major design flaw. Anyone that would actually be interested in such a monstrosity would be too fat to fit.

  4. Dan says:

    Hideous! Looks like the machine Banner was irradiated by, in the old Hulk TV Series. “Don’t make me angry, Mr McGee. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry….”

  5. Erp says:

    Only 3 screens??! LOL, amateurs!

  6. hakemate says:

    I think I´ll buy it!!! If the price is lower than 2000$ if not… I´ll cry over my keyboard :(

    • chris says:

      well considering a half way decent computer is around 1200 dollars now WITHOUT a monitor, i think this sucker will be well over $5,000

  7. PCFreak says:

    well, my keyboard doesn’t work anymore, it’s way to wet. Yes, I cried my keyboard to death, because my budget is very low, I have 1 crt monitor! The only thing that is more “geekyer” then a normal computer, is a Razer gamingmouse, well, I want a Philips amBX, a EDimension 3D glasses, etc. but i can’t afford it, well, after my birthday I got those glasses, but not this thing!. Well, this thing is awesome, maby I can get it for 5 dollars if i live in 2080! But then are 3 flatscreen monitors worthless, because a glasses-less 3D screen just came out from Philips!

  8. brandon says:

    Im surprised it doesn’t have a toilet and food supply so you can live inside it.

    • jhay says:

      If that were so, then this contraption would be a deathtrap! No geek would ever come off this thing once he’s on it. LOL

  9. straypacket says:

    Ummm… drinkholders?? Dinner Tray??

    HELLO??

  10. ouuuuh says:

    I really fuc*ing want ONE. REALLY. I give you my GF for it! And her sister too!

  11. laksjdfl says:

    Looks like JPs chair from Grandmas boy. Not that cool when you realize this.

  12. JOsh says:

    8001 Emperor Workstation (standard black/WindowsPC ) $ 39,950.00

    there you go straight from the website F*** that!

  13. Scott says:

    This is really nice! I agree, it needs a device that can serve foods…perhaps a built-in toilet as well.

  14. wentplatinum says:

    do you know how many putes and accessories you can buy for 40 g’s??? i mean to hell with the workstation…. collect systems and accessories then build your own station (scorpion tail look alike or not) it’ll be personalized and you can add the toilet and serving trays… the homies’ll love it :)

  15. dave says:

    Sad twats

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