After the disaster of his first remote-work experiment, you might think Captain Picard would never attempt another Zoom call aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise-D. But after an epic clash with The Borg, he bravely scheduled a follow-up meeting: this time armed with a solid agenda and, thanks to Geordi, stable wifi.

Unfortunately, even with technical issues solved, the meeting unraveled almost immediately. Casual Friday rules were challenged, Borg-themed jokes flew freely at Picard’s expense, and Starfleet’s uniform standards revealed some questionable choices when viewed from the waist down.

Starfleet Command has now resigned itself to the inevitable truth: these meetings will continue, not as models of efficiency, but as a running chronicle of the Federation’s most spectacularly unproductive experiment in remote work.