Start the Week Right with “I Will Strangle a Horse”: A Text Adventure Like No Other

Horse Text Adventure

Start your week with the most important career move of all: becoming Martin Jenkins, new employee at The Farm™.

Comedian Guy Kelly has unleashed his first text adventure game, boldly titled “I Will Strangle a Horse.” Don’t worry: no actual horses are harmed (probably). But if one were to be strangled, trust me, it would deserve it.

The game kicks off with Martin, who remembers nothing about his interview, his résumé, or even applying… yet wakes up with fire in his veins and one thought echoing in his brain: “Farm,” you think to yourself, contentedly, “Farm”.

This isn’t just a text adventure. It’s destiny. It’s the adventure of a lifetime. It’s… probably the greatest equine-strangling simulator never made.

Play here.

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