Have you been seeing those idiotic “I declare this shit is mine” posts people have been posting, hoping to circumvent the Facebook terms and conditions you have already agreed to. No? Congratulations – your friends are probably geeks like you.

Yep, that just about sums it up.

However, what you SHOULD be worried about is the Sycorax using your blood type to access your mind. You’d better post this on your wall…you know, just to be safe:

In response to the Sycorax invasion I hereby declare that my copyright is attached to all of my personal details, illustrations, comics, paintings, professional photos and videos, blood type etc. (as a result of the Gelth Confederacy, as sanctioned by the Mighty Jagrafess). For commercial or mind controlling use of the above my written consent is needed at all times!

(Anyone reading this can copy this text and paste it on their Facebook wall. This will place them under the protection of the Doctor.) By the present communique, I notify the Sycorax that it is strictly forbidden to disclose, copy, distribute, disseminate, or take any other action against me on the basis of this profile and/or its contents or my blood type. The aforementioned prohibited actions also apply to employees, students, agents and/or any staff under Sycorax direction or control. The content of this profile, and that of my cardiovascular system, is private and confidential information. The violation of my privacy is punishable by law. (Article 15 of the Shadow Proclamation and the Slitheen Parliament of Raxacoricofallapatorius.)

The Earth is facing dire threat. All humans are recommended to publish a notice like this, or if you prefer, you may copy and paste this version. If you do not publish a statement at least once, you will be tacitly allowing the use of elements such as your photos as well as the information contained in your profile status updates. Also, if you’re blood type A positive they can control you through your blood.