“Twitter is being used by vegetarians” says US military

By Mark O’Neill
Contributing Writer, [GAS]

The US military has concluded in a report that the online microblogging service, Twitter, could end up being used by terrorists to organise an attack or to communicate covertly with one another.

“Twitter has become a social activism tool for socialists, human rights groups, communists, vegetarians, anarchists, religious communities, atheists, political enthusiasts, hacktivists and others to communicate with each other and to send messages to broader audiences,” reads the document.

Since when have we thrown vegetarians into the terrorist category?!   If we’re counting vegetarians as “enemies of the state” then I’d better get my girlfriend locked up!   “My God!  She’s holding a carrot stick in her hand!   We’re all going to die!  Step away from the Twitter feed!”