Games

These Poop Dice Are Lovingly Crafted from The Finest Arctic Moose Droppings

Ever wished you could play your favorite RPG using poop dice? Yeah, me neither, but I have to admit that these dice, crafted from the finest Arctic Swedish moose droppings, have a certain charm to them. The artist over at Artisan Dice explain how they make them:

We finally managed the ultimate challenge, we’ve successfully figured out how to polish a turd. But not just any turd will do as we have a reputation for only working with the highest quality exotic materials on earth. So we put our crack team of minions on the task of finding the best poo around.

After traveling all over the world, sampling only the best of poos, they’ve discovered that only the droppings from the Artic Swedish moose would do.

Those long winter months leave the Swedish Moose foraging on woody stems and boughs as opposed to the wet lush vegetation of spring and summer. This transforms the moose’s summer time poos from the overly moist and somewhat mushy consistency that is often confused for bear scat, in to the glorious dry pellets we need to craft our epic dice.

These pellets consisting mostly indigestible woody cellulose plant material that, once dried have a pleasant earthy aroma. You’ll find these top quality poo pellets used for incense, as they bring the wonderfully woody scents of the outdoors in to your home.

Upon arrival, we bake the dried moose nuggets in order drive out the last of the moisture and prepare the for stabilization. Then the stabilized poop is cast into resin blanks similar to our Gator Jawbone dice. From there they are ready to be machined and polished into the finest poo dice the world has ever seen, making them the perfect gift for that special gamer on your sh!t list.

At $215 per set, sure, they’re expensive, but exclusivity has a price! Just imagine yourself boasting to all your friends that your dice set is made from actual crap. Wouldn’t that be priceless?

[Artisan Dice’s Moose Poop Dice]

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