A Con-Season Costuming Primer

 The “Sexy Han Solos” are actually in Exhibition Room B…
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Don’t make fun – this is seriously the time of year I start thinking about my Halloween costume. It’s clearly the only good holiday in the entire American celebratory pantheon, and if discussing it in July gives you the eye-rolling heebie-jeebies, let’s just pretend I’m talking about what to wear to ComicCon or some other geek-centric gathering.

As you all know, if something exists – that same something has a “sexy” version available for exhibitionistic gals who feel like showing off some epidermis. Donning the prerequisite ‘Slave Leia’ gear or dressing up as your favorite DC Universe babe is one thing, but…“Slutty Etch-a-Sketch”?! Seriously, where do they come up with this stuff? Let’s take a look at a few of the most laughable, ludicrous and yes, even the laudable…

No, honey – it’s actually GEEKSaresexy.net…
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Jokes aside, this “sexy Predator” looks…awesome. Even the Lucite stripper-heels are somehow passable.
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Y’know, the feather boa is what’s throwing me off here, Brother…
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“You wanna play?!” Thanks, but no thanks, Racy-Chucky-Doll.
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What’s the deal with her comically-oversized accessories?
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“I want to look hot…and perhaps saucy. What do you recommend?”
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You want to go as Doctor Who?! Just another omnipresent Tardis, I guess…
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Wait, did you think I was joking about the “Sexy Etch-a-Sketch”?
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My opinion? If you’re headed the provacative route, pick something that’s already sexy — like Jessica Rabbit, or your favorite scantily-clad character from the DC Universe. No need for one those “slutty Bert & Ernie” get-ups (yes, this exists.) Other than being silly for the sake of being silly, well, you’ll just look…silly.

Lydia Mondy makes jokes about it, but just you wait — she might be dressed as “Lascivious Log Lady” or some other racy Twin Peaks joke this year…