What Windows 7 personality are you?

In anticipation of the general release of Windows 7 on October 22, Microsoft has published a Windows 7 Personality Quiz (via Ina).  Don’t you have to wonder what Windows 7 personality you are?  Will you be “Bloated”, “Overhyped”, or “BSOD?”  Let’s examine this little survey, because one of our favorite activities here on [GAS] is poking fun at Microsoft.

The very first question is telling:

Five hours is considered “almost inseparable?” I guess my 12-16 must qualify as cyber-Siamese.  Whoever wrote the second answer needs to spend more time on grammar.  And if you clicked the last answer, you were lying.

Skipping over to question five:

Can you tell me what the difference is between the first three responses?  And where’s the option for people who think HD sucks?

We have a similar problem with the next question:

What’s the difference between the last two again?  I was looking for “Will it eat up all my system resources and open a secret back-door to the vendor while not providing any real benefit?”

Where’s “Will I be able to find FreeBSD drivers for all the devices?”  Actually, this is the best question so far, in that it poses some real options.  Truthfully, though, it’s almost always a balancing act between these (unless you don’t care about brand).

Question 10 cracked me up:

I think two of these would have been enough.  Actually, though, my sentiments are more like “Of course I joined them, even though they suck.”  I guess that’s technically number 1.

If you dissent from the politically correct viewpoint, your only option here is to shut up.  Not that I do – I’m having a hard time deciding between 1 and 3.  I guess I’ll take 3, because I like to think that my motives are selfish..

This question gives me an uneasy feeling coming from the makers of Windows.  It’s like when you were a kid and your bigger, older neighbor asked if you wanted to try a new wrestling move.  And once again, we have three different versions of “Yes” to choose from, followed by an “I don’t know what you’re asking.”  What about “No, I’m quite happy with WindowMaker, TYVM?”

This final question about age really adds insult to injury.  Your choices are under 20, 20s, 30s, or old fart.  Once you’ve answered this, you’re redirected to a page with auto-loading audio that you apparently can’t turn off without closing the page (the back button is broken, too).

This whole questionnaire seems aimed at casual computer users, not real geeks.  It makes Steve Ballmer’s famous Developers chant sound like only so much hot air punctuated with alveolars and labiodentals.

Oh, and my result?  I’m “Independent” – can you tell?  Now, what edition of Windows 7 was that?