Treating Your IT Pro Right: The Two-Way Street of Communication and Respect (Sponsored by Canon)

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This post is sponsored by the new Canon imageCLASS MF800 Series color printers, designed to help you get through IT. With features like a remote user interface (for control) and a 3.5” color LCD touch screen (for efficiency), imageCLASS printers give your office the type of reliable output and efficiency you demand from your printer – giving SYSADMINS more time to focus on the IT help requests that really matter! For more information visit www.usa.canon.com/getthroughit

Please note that all opinions featured in this article are entirely our own and do not reflect those of the sponsor.

We’ve heard about your IT help desk experiences, from inadvertent data center outages (it was a vacuum cleaner), to irresponsible bosses, and computers stuck to the floor, and now wanted to share a bit of insights from the Geeks Are Sexy Staff based on a particular story about the importance communication and respect. One user responded to our call to action writing about his experience and now we’re here to help. Read on…

This happened over 20years ago when I was tech support/field service for Gateway computers.

Client called saying that her floppy disk drive had stopped working. After I exhausted everything that could be done over the phone, I went out for a field service call to replace the drive.

I arrived to meet a nice elderly lady living alone with multiple cats. I started to take the PC apart to replace the drive when I noticed a “Burnt brown crust” on the drive.

I asked the lady “Did you spill a soda on the tower?

The nice cat lady replies “No I never drink around the computer”

As I put the drive to my face to take a nice deep wiff of the “crust”, the nice cat lady says “But when the kitties get mad, they like to spray.”

I almost vomited in this lady’s tower as the smell of BURNT CAT URINE hits me full in the face.

After scrubbing my hands and face in the restroom, I had to explain to the nice cat lady that “Burnt cat Urine” was not covered under her service contract.

geekIt seems that the one constant that we IT workers deal with is the stigma attached to our profession; we like boardgames, geeky toys, flash drives, hot-sauce, bacon, and more. Some of us might be overweight, underweight, awkward, antisocial, sweaty, you name it. Of course, not all of us like these things or exemplify these traits, but yet we get pigeon-holed into these stereotypes anyway. Somehow, those views get in the way of us doing our job, which is to help you do yours. With that, we seem to have a thankless set of tasks beset upon us with little regard to who we are as people.

The above story illustrates this clearly – granted, this customer may not have been “all there,” but the point is…do YOU want to smell cat urine? Between dealing with inept cleaning crews unplugging the SAN to finish up their floor waxing to the token sexist remarks given to our female colleagues (“I want a man to work on my network”), all the way to the to the clueless executive who rips his USB drive out of his computer .02 seconds after he clicked ‘save’ on that uber-important executive presentation… IT professionals get to deal with a wide spectrum of truly WTF moments that shape our perceptions of this challenging industry and the equally challenging people who keep us working. In the meantime, we are viewed as utilities rather than people and are treated as such.

Yes, we are thankful that we get to deal with the crazy problems. It keeps us sharp and current. What we aren’t thankful for are the people that perform some sort of Voodoo/random key-hitting/soda-on-the-keyboard event at their desk and get all uppity at the poor technician as he/she arrives at your desk to take a look. No, it’s NOT normal to be opening a bottle of SUPER glue at your keyboard. It’s also not OK for you to click ‘YES’ to every single toolbar installation as you are browsing for Sudoku puzzles during your “break.” If you do, though…don’t lie to us. It’s like when you go to your doctor…you’re not doing anyone any favors, especially yourself, if you keep the facts hidden.

I asked the lady “Did you spill a soda on the tower?

The nice cat lady replies “No I never drink around the computer”

I almost vomited in this lady’s tower as the smell of BURNT CAT URINE hits me full in the face.

We deserve better than this. Tell us what happened, no matter how inconsequential it may sound to you (I have a hard time thinking that cat pee is inconsequential in any situation, but I digress). It’s just disrespectful. Here are some other real-life examples of missed opportunities for better communication from users:

  • “The Internet is down. What did you guys do?” – I’m not even going to get into how absurd this statement is. A visit to the 7th level of the underworld – aka “below your desk” – uncovers a newly broken network jack in the wall because you’ve kicked it repeatedly into submission.
  • “My computer won’t power on. Fix it” – A cursory glance at the computer shows that you’ve pushed the power button in a full 2cm beyond where it should be and now it has become dislocated in the computer housing. Word of advice: It’s an electronic button, not an ignition device for your grill.
  • “My keyboard won’t work. I have two reports I need to get done today.” – Aaah, the passive-aggressive request…The somewhat charred scent of double-mocha caramel latte permeates the office as the laptop whirs to life when we realize that both corners of the chassis now has a sizable chunk of plastic missing due to various unreported drops. Sugar and pavement are both equally bad for computers.

So, please tell us if you do something that precipitated the event which brought us to your computer. We won’t judge…much. I would be lying if I told you that we don’t judge at all, but trust me when I say this: you will become the stuff of legend with our co-workers if you don’t. To put it bluntly, a little respect goes a long way here. You give us an honest report of what happened, and we can solve your problem in a much more expedient manner with less questioning on our part. Of course, we don’t want to be there fixing a completely preventable problem, but if you can help us speed things up, we can move onto other things, like just keeping everything running.

Today’s world works because of (well, not just, but…) people like us. We help to keep the data flowing – everything from nuclear power plants to grocery stores to your local mechanics. If everything is going well, you don’t even know we’re doing our jobs. We’re not firemen, we do our jobs when things are going right. Of course, if something goes wrong, we are definitely the first to get the blame. Sounds suspiciously like a relationship, right?

So, with that, let’s work on that relationship, shall we? We’ve already talked about communication, let’s spice it up a bit: a little recognition. This can go both ways – I’ve heard of help desks/IT groups giving out awards to their ‘user of the month’ for some outstanding way they were able to work with their technical staff to solve a problem. Likewise, I’ve seen users pick up a $10 gift/grocery card for technicians after solving a particularly difficult issue. Trust me when I say this; it speaks volumes. Let’s make our relationship fun and rewarding!

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Accept us for who we are: We’re geeks, but it’s no surprise that geeks rule the world; we know how stuff works. Don’t ostracize us because we like Doctor Who (not “Dr. Who,” but we’ll let that slide if you’re nice). Don’t talk down to us because we are more focused on fixing your web browser issue (thanks Java!) than making idle chit-chat. In response, we can try harder to talk at the same level to get you out of trouble. We don’t need to talk down to you if we’re both working on the same team. If we can do this together, maybe next time, we will be more inclined to help you and make your life a little bit easier when it comes to the tech you use on a day to day basis.

[Picture Sources: dougwoods on Flickr (CC BY 2.0) | mdornseif (CC BY-SA 2.0) | Pixabay (Public Domain)]

CASTING ALERT: Stephen Amell to Play Casey Jones in “TMNT 2”!

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Pretend it doesn’t exist or say what you want about it, but Michael Bay’s live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles has made over $190 million in the U.S. — so “Cowabunga, dude,” it’s franchise time!

And while Megan Fox is back as April O’Neil, here’s some good news: Arrow‘s own Stephen Amell has signed on to play Casey Jones! He was originally played by Elias Koteas in the 1990 movie.

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According to Variety, which broke the news:

Amell tested with a half-dozen actors over the weekend, but it was his chemistry with Fox that led to the studio eventually giving the role to the star of CW’s Arrow. Paramount had no comment on the casting.

Are you excited for a TMNT sequel? Are you more excited now that Amell has joined?

True Stories Bring April Fool’s Confusion

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It’s that day of the year again when tech and internet firms prank their customers with April Fools’ Day stories. But this year the issue is confused by a couple of far-fetched stories that happen to be true.

Amazon has already had to issue a denial that its new product Dash is a gag. It certainly sounds a hard-to-believe proposition: a series of 18 physical buttons that can be placed around the house, each of which reorders a specific product when pressed.

Each button bears the branding of a particular manufacturer and will order a particular replacement product by sending a signal over Wi-Fi. Examples include Huggies diapers, Tide detergent and Gillette razors. Users select their chosen pack size in advance and the system works in a similar way to ‘Buy It Now’, so there’s no need to enter any passwords or card details. To avoid mistaken orders, once the button is pressed, it won’t work again until the product has been delivered.

While it certainly feels like a gimmick right now (it’s only available by invitation to Prime members), Amazon appears to be playing the long game. It’s reportedly working on getting manufacturers to build a re-order button directly into new appliances and is even looking at whether devices could track the use of consumables such as coffee pods or detergent tablets and automatically re-order when stocks are running low.

Another joke that turned out to be true is the idea of turning Google Maps into a Pac-Man game. If you’ve dismissed reports to that effect on your social media timeline, you were too hasty. Yesterday and today at least, whenever you have the aerial map (rather than the photographic view) enabled, you can click on a Pacman image at the bottom of the screen and play a game, with the maze made up of the local streets — so beware of no-through roads. It’s surely a step closer to my dream of a Grand Theft Auto/Google Street View mash-up.

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As for the actual pranks, Dominos jumped on the driverless car craze to announce the Domi-no-driver, an unmanned delivery bike that it refers to as the world’s first auto-nom-nom-nom-ous bike.

Google came up with Smartbox by Inbox, a physical inbox that sends you text alerts when the mailman has been, and includes heating and air conditioning so that touching the metal exterior is never uncomfortable.

Another Google feature is a one-day only addition to the contextual menu in Chrome for Android: you can now ‘Share a reaction’ to any page by taking a self-portrait that’s supposedly then shared with your friends.

Finally from Google, there’s a video of a new product for kids: a talking panda toy that can process search queries. Cute as it is, it’s a little confusing for some web users as ‘Google Panda’ already refers to a 2011 change to Google’s algorithm that dramatically changed the rankings of many websites.

Think Geek has stepped up with a whole range of prank products, with the gag revealed when you try to buy them. My favourites include Groot Beer, a steam-powered console for playing Steam games, and a Game of Thrones-themed edition of Clue with a four foot by two foot board — which is needed to handle the 48 characters and 48 weapons!

Microsoft has supposedly come up with a new mobile phone system, MS-DOS mobile, though you do have to wonder if it would actually get a bigger market share than Windows Phone.

Sony’s offering is PlayStation Flow, a take on motion sensor gaming that allows you to simulate underwater activity in games by actually going for a swim. It supposedly takes advantage of Bluetooth-enabled goggles with motion sensors, headphones and small LCD screens inside the lenses.

HTC is promoting RE Sok, the world’s first smart socks. As well as showing messages on an LCD screen, they contain GPS trackers with a pairing feature to avoid getting odd socks after laundry, and a hole detection feature.

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Groupon has supposedly entered the growing taxi app market with Grouber, the first app that lets you order a cab driven by a cat. The service is said to use GPS-based lasers to make sure your feline driver takes the best route.

Meanwhile Tinder and Uber have joined together to share April Fool’s with a couple of joint apps. The story goes that if you make a Tinder match with an Uber driver, you can split the fare, while if you make a match on Tinder you can automatically order an Uber car to take you to a meet-up, something that it wouldn’t be shocking to see become reality.

Speaking of which, Roku’s gag really does sound like a real service waiting to happen. It’s come up with Roku Rendezvous, a service that will bring together single customers who watch the same mix of programming.

This is just a selection as this feels like the busiest April Fool’s Day online so far, so if you’ve spotted any other highlights, post a comment reply and let us know.

Cards Against Humanity Funds Scholarship, Shows It Has a Soul After All

Everyone’s favorite irreverent card game launched a new expansion pack on Monday.

The 30-card pack sells for $10 and is science-themed…because the proceeds will help fund a scholarship specifically for women who want to pursue careers in STEM.

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In a press release, Cards Against Humanity said:

“Everyone at Cards Against Humanity was fortunate enough to receive a great college education that helped us find a job that we’re passionate about, and our goal with this scholarship is to make that opportunity available to others,” said Cards Against Humanity community manager Jenn Bane. “Several of the co-creators of Cards Against Humanity earned degrees in science, whereas I got a degree in journalism. Now look at where I am. Writing this press release for them.”

Cards Against Humanity co-creator Josh Dillon, who will defend his thesis on astrophysics at MIT next month, said, “Women are underrepresented in science, tech, engineering, and math, and we felt like the funding from this pack could have the greatest impact by making it possible for more women to get an education in those fields, and by giving them a platform to share their work and their passion for science.”

Science Ambassador Scholarship board member Veronica Berns, PhD. said, “We desperately need diversity in science because the alternative makes no sense. So often girls are told in both overt and subtle ways that they aren’t able to be good at math and science. With this scholarship, I’m excited to get to tell a passionate girl out there, ‘Yes! What you are doing and dreaming is really great, and here’s some help to get you where you want to go.’”

Scholarship applications will be reviewed by a board of over forty women who hold higher degrees and work professionally in science, including representatives from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Harvard Medical School, the Smithsonian Institution, the Adler Planetarium, and the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, as well as NSF, Huxley, and Hubble fellows.

Here are some of the black cards:

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And here are some of the white cards:

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Students can begin applying later this summer.

[via Daily Kos]

10 Practical Tips for Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse

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While a zombie apocalypse probably won’t happen, there is enough zombie saturation in the media right now that if you were ever gonna start planning on how to survive one, now would be the time. So what do you think you would do? Who would you team up with? Where would you go? The Walking Dead gets us thinking, can you tell?

i09 has some pretty solid ideas on where to start when faced with a zombie apocalypse. Think weapons, people:

As for ranged weapons, you may want to reconsider that sawed-off shotgun you’re so fond of. Bolt action rifles are both powerful and accurate, without the ammunition restrictions of the close-range shotgun.

That’s definitely worth noting for those of you with an arsenal nearby. For me, it’s cricket bat, Shaun of the Dead style.

[Image and Story Via io9]