Before you go on reading this post, let’s get some important questions out of the way first: do you love Dungeons & Dragons? Great! Second question: do you have $7,000 and a complete lack of impulse control? Yes as well? Congratulations, adventurer, you qualify for this side quest!

Dungeons & Dragons: The Tyrant’s Eye is a gloriously epic pinball machine from Stern Pinball that answers the age-old question, “What if pinball, but with lore?” It’s not just a table, it’s a campaign, complete with branching story paths, player choices, and a heroic mission to defeat the Dragon Queen Tiamat using nothing but reflexes and steel balls. It even has full voice acting from some top-tier nerd legends, including Matthew Mercer, Michael Dorn, and Gerard Way.

The table itself goes absolutely all-in: There are hidden passageways, a magical shop, a mimic-infested treasure chest, and a gelatinous cube that literally freezes the pinball in place like it just failed a Dex save. And looming over everything is Rath, a massive animatronic red dragon billed as the most advanced mech ever put in a pinball machine, reacting to your actions with multi-axis movement.

The funniest part? The $7,000 version is the cheap one. That’s the “entry-level” model. Yeah.

You may not need a D&D pinball machine, but if you’ve ever wanted to defeat Tiamat without assembling a party or arguing about rules for 45 minutes, this might be the most efficient campaign you’ll ever play.