We’ve teamed up with the geniuses at Despair, Inc. again to bring you a totally demotivating and hilarious 2017 calendar. You’ll get a different Demotivator each month (see below) as well as important dates in geek history. Impress your friends with your geeky trivia knowledge! Never forget International Talk Like A Pirate Day again! Send @neiltyson a Happy Birthday tweet right on time! The superpowers you will gain from having this calendar cannot possibly fit in one paragraph. Keep it for yourself or give it to that geek in your life who has everything but still finds stuff to complain about. They’ll love it but pretend to hate it. That’s just how they roll.
This despair wall calendar includes the following demotivator designs:
-Downsizing: Because we’re all in this together but there’s always room for one less.
-Accountability: A word leaders start to use right before the scapegoating begins.
-Teamwork: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.
-Be the Bridge: That way we can walk all over you on our way to better places.
-Micromanagement: A job worth doing is worth doing right over your shoulder by your boss.
-Dare to be Different: Because there’s always room for another annoying non-conformist like you in the unemployment line.
-Burnout: Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you.
-Interns: The experience we’re giving you is invaluable. That’s why we’re not paying you anything.
-Priorities: Hundreds of years from now, it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove… but the world may be different because I did something so bafflingly crazy that my ruins become a tourist attraction.
-Ruthlessness: It pays a lot better than integrity.
-Indifference: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn’t take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.
-Mediocrity: Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.