A Female Cosplayer’s Message to Rude Guys: “Nope. Stop Talking.”

NYC-based freelance fashion and costume designer and illustrator Mandy Caruso (pictured above), who also happens to like cosplaying, went to New York Comic Con last weekend as Black Cat, and what happened to her shines a less than positive light on how many men act toward ladies at cons. I also see many such comments on galleries that I post on [GAS], and I make sure to nuke those comments out of existence as soon as I see them. Full text of her tumblr post below:

At Comic Con today, I went as Black Cat. This is a shitty picture and there will be better ones of my whole costume coming up but I just want to say something.

Black Cat’s costume has a fair amount of cleavage (conservative compared to many other female comic characters but a good amount as far as what I’ve ever shown). I guess I was not surprised to have a couple men ask to pose with me and then do some doofy “WHOA LOOK AT THOSE KNOCKERS” poses. I just make a really ugly face when I see they’re doing it. One guy with the social graces of a lemur said to me “I was this close to wearing that same outfit. My breasts are large and supple and I think it would have been nice.” Nope. Stop talking.

But aside from guys being doofy and awkward (but clearly not foul-intentioned), I did have my first truly skeezy experience at Comic Con today.

And my first truly empowering moment as well.

This group of men from some kind of Stan Lee fan club blah blah internet video channel blah blah asked to interview with them on camera about Comic Con. I said well okay, sure. Camera is rolling. The “host” is a middle aged, rotund dude. It’s an all-male crew and lots of people (mostly guys) were beginning to crowd around. The following is the interview as burned in my mind. Keep in mind that I expected this to be about Comic Con in general.

  • Him: I’m here with…
  • Me: Mandy, aka Felicia Hardy aka Black Cat
  • Him: ..And she is HOT. Do you think I’m hot enough to pull that off?
  • Me: Uh, I’m not sure, I’ve never seen you in drag.
  • Him: I’ve got a great ass. Go on, spank me.
  • Me: (look at his large ass, popped up mere inches away from me then look into the camera like are you kidding me . No thanks. I may hurt you, I’m a lot stronger than I look.
  • Him: Aw come on!
  • Me: No, seriously. Stop.
  • Him: Damn, alright! Well let me ask you an important question then…what is your cup size?
  • Me: (big talk show smile) That is actually none of your fucking business.
  • Him: Oh! I think that means to say she’s a C.
  • Me: I actually have no breasts at all, what you see is just all of the fat from my midsection pulled up to my chest and carefully held in place with this corset. It’s really uncomfortable, I don’t know why I do it.
  • Him: (to the male crowd) Aw, come on what do you guys think? C cup?
  • —a few males start to shout out cup sizes as I stand there looking at this guy like this has to be a fucking joke, then look at the crowd and see that no amount of witty banter or fiestiness will stop making this whole thing fucking dumb. It was clearly a ploy to single out cosplaying women to get them to talk sexual innuendos and flirt with this asshole and let him talk down to them simply because they were in costume and were attractive. Whether I’m in a skintight catsuit or not, I’m a fucking professional in everything I do and I don’t need to play nice for this idiot.
  • Me: This is not an interview, this is degrading. I’m done. (I walk away)
  • Him: (clearly dumbfounded and surprised) ..Come on, it’s all in good fun!
  • Me: Being degraded is fun? That was unprofessional and I hope that isn’t your day job because you can’t interview for shit, my man.

And the entire crew and the crowd were SILENT. NOTHING. SHOCK, HONEY. It felt like I was in a heated fog, full of rage and pride and I sashayed away feeling like the most badass motherfucker in the whole damn room, but kind of also on the verge of tears. A slow build of applause would have been appropriate, but from the looks on people’s faces, they were just completely not expecting me to do what I just did- which was really nothing more than speaking up for myself. It wasn’t something one should feel brave for doing but crazy for not doing when necessary.

It’s because many people at these cons expect women cosplaying as vixens (or even just wearing particularly flattering costumes) to be open/ welcoming to crude male commentary and lecherous ogling, like our presence comes with subtitles that say “I represent your fantasy thus you may treat me like a fantasy and not a human in a costume”. And maybe that will always be how the majority of people see us. But that does not mean we have to put up with shit that crosses the line, it does not mean we owe them a fantasy, it does not mean we dress up to have guys drooling over us and letting us know that we turn them on. It is not all about your dicks, gentlemen. So I encourage cosplaying women everywhere to be blunt and vocal with their rights, their personal boundaries, and their comfort level at conventions. I actually encourage girls to be brashly shameless about these things, to not be afraid to speak up if you feel uncomfortable and to let the person doing it know that they are crossing the line. Don’t keep quiet because you’re scared of what they might say or think- because if you say nothing they will continue to see what they’re doing as OK.

Since I’m not based in the U.S. and have a big family (3 kids is a lot these days), I cannot attend all of the cons I’d like to, but while taking pics for Geeks are Sexy at Montreal Comic Con, I noticed a few guys who were really rude to ladies. I’m glad to say that these ladies handled the situation really well. My personal opinion is that regardless if you’re a guy or a girl, and decide to attend a con wearing a more or less “revealing” costume because you feel “empowered” by it, just go ahead and do it. You know wearing the outfit will make you feel good about yourself. But once you’re there, don’t take bullshit from anyone and let your thoughts known to people who disrespect you, in a polite manner, of course. An intelligent, polite retort always hit harder than spewing obscenities! :)

So what do you guys think about Mandy’s bad experience? Have you ever been victim of comments like those? What is the best way to handle rude, degrading remarks? Let us know in the comments section below!

63 Responses to A Female Cosplayer’s Message to Rude Guys: “Nope. Stop Talking.”

  1. Good for her…what I find truly disheartening about this is that there was nobody with a sense of decency to stand up for her. Not saying she needed the assist, but as she said, there was no applauding her move even. I expect this kind of socially idiotic behavior from nerds that don't know how to interact with women, and I know there's quite a few of them at this event. Perhaps that's all that this idiot attracts, so that would explain why none of them saw a problem with this. I'm sorry she and other women have to be treated like that. Makes me wanna go to one and straighten some douche bags out.

    • Actually, all kind of people attend these events now, I'd guess that more than 90% of guys who go there are perfectly respectable gentlemen… but they aren't the ones who stand out among the crowd.

      • Also there is a lot of "mob psychology" which comes into play. And that, my friends, are scary stuff. "The Murder of Kitty Genovese" is a good example. So, even if there are 90% "good guys" there, they do not act, since there are a lot of people and the wanna-be interviewer is pushy and forward and trying to establish an alpha role. Interesting, but scary stuff.

    • It's a mixed bag at Cons. Some people enjoy the admiration and the remarks while others want none of it. It's difficult to "act correctly" when it's okay for some people and not okay for others, but dammit, always stand up for what you think is right.

      • Yes, but this is where social skills come into play. Some women *may* be up for this kind of behavior, but at bare minimum it should have stopped the second she showed displeasure. Beyond that, I seriously doubt that too many women are up for being asked about their breast size on camera. I realize that our crowd has a reputation for social ineptness, but we also have a reputation for intelligence. If people want to flirt, there are MUCH better ways than the idiotic behavior above, and there are more than enough resources to at least learn not to do what Johnny Dumb*$$ above did.

        • Agree, and furthermore, "What's your bra size?" is just a really shitty interview question. It's not cute or playful and it has nothing to do with the character. It's just dumb.

  2. I agree with her totally. Men should be ashamed. I don't say anything to a woman that would make my mom give me the "look" no matter how old I am (41). I also try very hard to be an example for my boys. I should say "Good Example" for them. I would tell the girls to reply with this line, "Wow, you kiss your mom with that mouth?" And if they get snarky after that comment and say yes or something like that… Then simply reply, "Really, I bet you used tongue, don't you?"
    That'll shut them down hard.

  3. These types of people (the interviewer and his crew) should be removed from the event or band from the following years one for things like this. It makes the rest of us guys who just can't believe the effort some people go to in order to make costumes, look bad

  4. Power to her. Some guys at every convention really need to remember that girls there aren't just props for them to drool over. At my first convention there were girls dresses as a series of anime characters, they're cleavage quite ample, I was fifteen and I wanted as many pictures with them as possible, but since then I've matured (somewhat). I know some guys act like dicks, but it is always lovely to meet beautiful women who have similar interests to us nerdy gentleman. I apologise to the few of us that see fit to act outrageously, and if it was up the vast majority of us, I'm sure we'd retract their membership to masculinity.

    • I think you should not be taking the side of the immature, sexist douchebags. The only reason I can think of for your comment is that, like them, you’re just a basement-dweller who lacks the social skills & manners to treat women as people instead of objects.

    • I don't typically respond or say anything to comments on this page, but yours deserves special observation. She does not need to get over herself. She does not have to tolerate being abused, or degraded by anyone for any reason. Your apathy is nearly as bad as the chauvanism that lead to her having to even defend herself against such degrading behavior. Ask yourself one question, if someone spoke like this to your sister, your mother, or your lover, how would that make you feel?

    • I'm a heterosexual, adult male, and I was angered and horrified just reading how they behaved. These clowns need to get over themselves. This whole exchange wasn't just someone flirting in an idiotic manner. This was calculated abuse and degradation because the "interviewer" is a loser and an idiot.

  5. It's these sort of males that give normal and non "Fuckhead" males a bad name. It doesn't matter whether she's a Cosplayer , a model, a Flight Attendant, a doctor, or whatever the fuck she does…

    Guys, stop being completely fucking moronic, and start treating the finer species with a little respect and maturity. You may find that you'll be able to play with buttons that aren't just found on your keyboard.

    Absolutely disheartening to read. We've evolved from the ape… to an ape that can talk.

    *round of applause to the men with the social graces of a half-sucked lollipop*

  6. The men were rude. Simple as that. At the same time, if you don't want to be seen as a vixen, don't dress like one. It really is silly when women flaunt their sexuality and try to pretend that it does not effect men, who are much more visually stimulated than women. I'm not excusing the men's behavior. but she should also consider hers. A lot of people that I know enjoy the cosplay culture because it is an excuse to express their sexuality. Why can't the creepy guys express theirs too? Maybe what you saw was what men are really thinking. If you want to draw out their sexual attention, why should they not give voice to it?

    Still, the guys were crude. 2 wrongs don't make a right. Especially doing that in front of everyone, they guys should be shamed, and ashamed. But ladies….be honest about your contribution. Don't pour on the gasoline, if you are afraid someone else might light a match. Just my perspective.

    • I *might* agree if her complaints were about more guys harmlessly flirting with her while respecting her boundaries should she voice her displeasure. *This* however, was light years away from that, and anyone with an ounce of sense or decency should KNOW not to behave like that. I'm sorry that those guys have never encountered a woman outside of a jpeg, but that's there problem to deal with.

    • "Why can't the creepy guys express theirs too?" Are you fucking SERIOUS?! This was cat-calling entrapment. They made her feel like something professional and legitimate was going to happen, and then they degraded her. You're a slut-shaming moron. "…if you are afraid someone else might light a match." So now she's supposed to be responsible for other people's shitty behavior as well? Get fucking real.

  7. I'm certain a few reading this, misguidedly, think, "Well if she didn't want the attention she shouldn't dress like that." I think that attitude is complete bullshit.

    How many comic fans and Con attendees would be incensed if a geek was harassed by non-geeks for their fan shirts or dressing in a costume to celebrate something they love? We'd be pissed if a bunch of chavs in the parking lot started loudly harassing some guy dressed as a Dalek or whatever and we must have the same expectations of respect and decorum to each other.

    I'm ashamed these guys treated her like that.

  8. Observer… you are what's wrong with the world, my man.

    I'm personally looking forward to the day when men stop blaming their bad behavior on women for being attractive in the first place – I doubt it'll happen in my life time, but I have hopes that my children will be adults in a society where behavior falls directly under personal responsibility instead of some idiotic variation of "that devil woman made me do it". It's called 'self control', and anyone who can't use it in polite company should feel free to stay home until they can. Until then, I'm glad women like Mandy are standing up for themselves.

  9. This is a sad group that attends these conventions. I've had quite a few guys come to take a picture of me in cosplay (which is perfectly fine) only to zoom all the way in on my breasts alone, whether my cleavage is showing a tad or not… It's rude, degrading creepy and harmful. Cosplayers are fans. That's why we dress up! It's supposed to be fun and a representation of our hard work and enthusiasm. I'm glad she sad what she did. More women need to stand up for themselves and more people in the crowd should put these jerks in their place.

  10. Mirror… I don't think it's that black and white. I would never say anything to a woman like these men did, and there is no question that they took it too far, but at the same time I have to question her motives. When she says "it empowers me," what exactly does that mean?

    Like most, I am upset with the current state of females betrayed in comic books (like the infamous "cleavage window" on Power Girl), but at the same time, that seems to be what everyone wants, including women. How can you be upset at how women are betrayed in comics, then say that the same outfit "empowers" you? I don't know, and I think it's an important discussion. Furthermore, if she is speaking out on appearances, why did she have to mention him as a "middle-aged rotund dude?" What did that have to do with anything?

    In my opinion, men should shut their rude mouths, and women should stop denying that they are dressing like that for attention. I think both sides need a lot of learning about themselves.

    • SpeakerPatrick, let me start by saying thank you for trying to keep this discussion flowing as an exchange of ideas. So many don't bother.

      I'm not sure I'll do this concept justice, so bear with me as I try to explain it:

      One major reason women feel empowered when they dress up for events like this is because it's the ONE place in society where they can (usually) wear whatever they want and not get judged for it. Walking to the grocery store in a tight shirt? Slut. Going to a movie with friends and feel like wearing super tall heels for the hell of it? You probably did half the people in your group. Is any cleavage showing whatsoever when you're on your way to the doctor's office? You're probably there because you have VD. And god help you if some guy starts aggressively hitting on you on the bus and you're wearing makeup: obviously you want the attention, so stop whining.

      But… walk into a con wearing a tiny sailor outfit with ruffly panties and thigh high boots? Oooh, I recognize that outfit from Sailor Moon's earlier episodes! Let's have a conversation based on mutual interest, sparked by your amazing sewing efforts and attention to detail. And hey, if you look hot doing it, that's fine, but that's not the point here.

      D'ya see the difference? Please say you do. Every time a man totally misses the boat on women trying to get attention for who they are instead of what they look like, another unicorn dies.

  11. Wow, you're one step away from "if women don't want to be raped, they shouldn't wear short skirts."
    Really? Blaming her clothing choices for the guy's behaviour?
    Not only are you essentially blaming the victim, you're also implying that men are inherently incapable of controlling themselves, and can't be responsible for choosing to act like sexist jerks.

  12. On behalf of all the non-asshole camera toting guys out there that go to conventions, I am deeply sorry for your experience. We aren’t all like that.

  13. I think I know the guy she's talking about. I think he's that creeper with the public access-style show, in which he basically uses the camera as an excuse to ogle female cosplayers (while making inappropriate comments).

  14. I think the point is the these were not men, they were little boys. Gentlemen do not treat women like they are objects. It was a comic-con, a lot of the costumes show skin. So what? That's no excuse to be rude. Guys and girls if you feel that this is wrong and see it happening, say something! Enough people standing up against this type of behavior will show that it is not to be tolerated.

  15. My lord..as a man and a content creator if I were to ever behave that way I would fully expect someone to shoot me.. Someone needs to teach this guy some manners..but at least he has no change to ever breed…

  16. Its even harder when your transgender and very passing and do cosplay once they find out you were born male then it can be non stop harassment throughout the con. I have not done cosplay yet simply from the horror stories that I have heard.

  17. No wings or halos for either side here.

    "Him: I’ve got a great ass. Go on, spank me."

    I think maybe the proper application of violence is exactly what this, ahem, person, needs. But then we have:

    "it does not mean we dress up to have guys drooling over us"

    Oh really? You purposely selected an outfit that displays lots of skin and feminine curves before trotting off to attend a social gathering where guys know and expect there will be women dressed provocatively- but you didn't intend for any guys to take notice of you. Right. That's like joining a dating service and then getting irked that guys you don't know keep sending you emails.

    She's absolutely right to stand up for herself, but if she doesn't want guys going ga-ga over her outfit maybe she should organize a Female-only cosplay event so that she doesn't have to endure male attention.

    • Even if that is true, there is a huge range of attention. You can be easily be friendly and even flirtatious WITHOUT being degrading or objectifying someone. Beyond that, even if there WASN'T a range, the second someone starts to feel uncomfortable or upset, you back off. This isn't rocket science.

    • I think you're missing the point, not only of this incident, but of cosplay in general.

      She wasn't just "[selecting] an outfit that displays lots of skin and feminine curves," she was dressing up as a character. Look at Black Cat–for that matter, look at most female comic book characters. We cosplayers don't dress up for guys (or girls); we dress up because we love that character. The outfits we don are flattering because the characters are drawn in flattering costumes. Our aim is accuracy, not seduction. Should someone avoid dressing up as her favorite character because what she wears might attract men? Cosplayers of any gender should be free to, and feel safe to, become their favorite character for a day without fearing the actions and/or comments of their fellow geeks.

      I say, more power to Mandy for standing up for herself when put in an uncomfortable situation. Comic Con should be a safe place for nerds to celebrate shared interests, simple as that.

  18. It is sad but there are those that people need to watch out for. Generally say they are "photographers" and try to set up shoots to perv out. Just skeezers really that have no social graces. Going to a con should be a fun time where people should not have to worry about hearing crude comments or be degraded.
    It is usually an area where people were able to escape some of that within the mainstream. As more things become mainstream so to say it invites other kinds of people into conventions and the scene so to say. People of course will hear the argument from some that if they didnt want to hear those comments they shouldn't dress like that. I think that maybe if people don't have anything nice to say or interesting they just need to keep it to themselves.

  19. Absolutely pathetic behavior on the part of the interviewers. They were not gentleman at all and judging by their behavior they probably haven't interacted with ladies without the use of their credit card.

  20. Put a few military men and woman there and see how long that shit lasts for. We would jump all over those nerds shit and throw them out if they didn’t cut the crap. I defend freedom for everyone but won’t stand by and let some 40 year old virgin degrade any woman.

  21. That guy’s actions were disgusting. As a male member of more than one male driven community, I see many similar situations, and trying to speak out against these people is difficult. It takes a lot of guts. I have a lot of respect for the way she handled herself. I hope her actions made all of those participants think about what they did and why it was wrong.

  22. a few thoughts:

    * no one has the right to treat anyone, regardless of their attire, like an object
    * those jackasses need to have their testicles introduced to a meat grinder
    * mandy, whether portraying black cat or not, is a remarkably attractive person, and will unfortunately be subject to the slings and arrows of outrageous humanity until such time as we the people undergo a copernican revolution

    mandy – i apologize that people i share a gender with treated and continue to treat you that way, you deserve better, and we can do better; please dont lose faith in us or judge us by their example. there are many of us, i hope most of us, who value and cherish cosplayers for their attention to detail and passion for their fandom, and do not by default objectify and compartmentalize you into our fantasies sprung to life. please dont let these hostile actions by these hostile twits ever make you second guess either your attire or your desire to attend an event, and if you and i are ever at the same con, please feel free to point out anyone who has made you feel like less of a person, and i will punch them in the throat.

    • dude your sentiment is kind. you can't apologize for some other idiot's behavior. you can only own yours. to that end i say CONSPICUOUSLY be a gentleman. your words say a lot, im sure you mean it.

  23. At my first con (Anime Expo), I was 17 and no matter how hard I tried to keep them down, it is hard to hide large breasts even in the most conservative cosplay. I tuned out the perverts and by day 3 made a guy friend to ward off the rest of them. Unfortunately, before leaving I had to track down my fellow trekkies and get hugs from the whole crew. Finally found Kirk, and when I asked him for a hug, every guy around him(By the way, the man was a gentlemen) attacked. Every one of them ran in for a hug, shoving their faces into my chest. Not only was it humiliating, but I had a full blown panick attack from the shock!

  24. Speaking as a guy who has stood up for women in situations like that, you become a social pariah, and sometimes the d-bags tend to get a lot more nasty with you than they did with the woman. Comments along the lines of “What are you? Gay?” And sometimes even threats of physical attack. Mostly, however, they back down like the curs they are.

    The sad thing is that there are any number of women who will put up with that kind of BS. Else there would be no such thing as battered wives. Good on her for slapping that idiot down.

    • I'd be half tempted to say "Yes, I am" and then grab their butt and talk about their package. It would be funny to see how they like it. What is really ironic, however, is that displaying heterosexual behavior that aggressively is often a way of compensating for repressed homosexual tendencies. In short, they are actually much more likely to be gay than the men defending the women.

      • Or simply they're just dicks. Society way over-analyses stuff.

        "What you see in others you see in yourself" – by that logic Mandy is a rude, uncouth pervert with no respect for the opposite gender.

        Which she obviously is not.

        Would you call a victim of racism a racist?

        Or a victim of rape a rapist?

        Sometimes people are simply just dicks, simple as that. No need for psycho-babble, they're just stuck in a stage I call eternal adolescence and will likely never grow the hell up.

    • I've seen this too.

      But for the people saying "oh, sometimes it's hard to speak up".

      No, it isn't.

      Be a man and not a coward.

      It doesn't matter how many people are being hostile towards any man, woman or child in any social situation. Whether it's intervening vocally or physically, you do what's right and protect the innocent. I find it ironic that so much of geekdom is spent idolising heroes and yet so many here talk about how hard it is to be heroic. Heroicism is simply common decency in practise.

      To quote The King Blues

      ""Man, she's a goddess,
      you can tell by the way she dances."
      But you call her a slag when she don't accept your advances.
      You just show you got no respect for yourself.
      Show you ain't got the balls to just talk to a girl.
      So when she chats to me,
      you spit at her and shout "WHORE."
      Well, it's written in the art of war,
      to fight only the battles you can win.
      But I will defend your honour until they kick my face in.
      If you have to scrape me, broken boned, bloodied, bruised and battered up off the floor,
      well fuck it.
      Integrity is what black eyes were invented for."

      That is what being a gentleman is about. It's not a pick and choose thing. You always choose to do what's right and be selfless, because otherwise the "mob rule" mentioned above will prevail and no enlightened society should allow that to happen.

  25. Really sorry you had such a shitty experience with these jackholes. I'm a guy, and had(believe it or not) a similar asshole interviewer at a con a few months ago. Who do these jerks think they are? You handled it great-come to some cons here in Vancouver, you'll be treated respectfully:)

  26. I am appalled at thes actions but even more appalled that no one said anything in her defense. Even just a knock it off would have been something. I am not saying that she needed help but if no one speaks up then people think this is funny and ok. Behavior like this has no excuse. As a Male and a geek I whole heartedly condemn this behavior. My apologies ladies. If I see this behavior when I go to a con I promise to politly explain to the perpatrator that is not the way to behave.

  27. As a fellow female cosplayer, I totally get where she is coming from and I say; you go girl! I wear costumes because I enjoy it, it makes me feel good, and it makes me feel proud to wear something I've made. My costumes have NOTHING to do with looking sexy for sweaty, awkward men who wouldn't recognize tact if it smacked them in the face.
    It is not okay for him to ask her those questions just because she is in cosplay. Like she said, she is a person in a costume, not a fantasy, and every person deserves respect.

  28. good for her and shame on them. look this is clearly for fun and fantasy. sometimes it is also sexy as hell. but it is fantasy. you can’t go thinking that rotten behavior is acceptable even when in this situation. she’s a person with feelings and deserves dignity. imagine what a fun conversation might have happened had he not been a pig? at defcon , a whole different kind of event, some ladies have brought color coded cards. red yellow and green. green was essentially thanks for being cool. red was an invitation for one of the Goons to throw you out by your new wedgie.
    thank you GAS for raising awareness.

  29. I don't really have anything to bring to the table that hasn't already been said… Though I'm starting to get into cosplay, and the rare moments like this can be very off putting.

    For those who were saying it's the way that she dressed… Come on, I mean, look at all the female characters in comics, anime, video games… A vast majority wear tight or small items of clothing. I know a lot of women pull off female versions of male characters, but some female character – Black Cat being a good example – are just too awesome to not do.
    On the other hand, look at what all the male characters wear: chunky armor and baggy clothes. There should be a con that's specifically a gender-swap one, so women can give men like that a taste of their own attitude and crudeness and see what they make of it!!

  30. I think this might have been taken kind of far. In no way are the guys excused, of course, but you can't be so one sided and act like the guys are the only bad guys here. There are plenty of girls who purposely flaunt themselves and act really sexual around the guys at Comic Con. Most of the Black Cat's that go to Comic Con love to flaunt their breast infront of the cameras, so most of those guys become used to it. I think she should have been firm about it instead of acting shy about it and then bursting into a rage and acting like she was awesome when she just made herself look more ignorant.

  31. You have 3 groups. One is the set of comments that bash the guys and those comments have all of the likes. You have the second set which talks about how both the men and women need to be more considerate of each other and those comments have a couple dislikes (Not really sure why?). Then you have the comments which bash the girl for freaking out, and those have the most dislikes.

  32. I have to raise my glass to her about her experience and how she handled it. As a fellow female cosplayer, and model I know how this goes and it can really be uncomfortable and unfair to us ladies when boys act this way (I say boys because real men would know better). I had someone try very hard to grab my ass at an anime convention a little while ago, and when I asked him what the fuck he was doing, he responded "well if you don't want people to grab your ass then don't wear things like that!" I was in a shorter skirt and my stomach was showing, but I wasn't wearing nearly anything as revealing as a LOT of the girls there. While this was happening I was also working a booth, but luckily being professional could be tossed out the window with my boss in this case, he would back me up and he did. I actually was about to hit him when my friend stopped me and told the guy to walk away before he got his sorry ass kicked out for being a complete asshole. I then continued to tell him that he was a lowlife and a couple choice other things for behaving in such a way and then told him to leave before I called convention security. I will always stand up for myself and don't take crap from anyone, and I'm glad this fellow woman cosplayer was able to do so in this situation. Guys, think about what you're doing, and don't if it's going to be demeaning, it makes it bad for all guys.

  33. If you dress like that and are prepared to stand up for yourself that way then no problem, but you do have to expect some wankers like that.

    In no way does that excuse the guys and I'm horrified by their behaviour, but if I wore gold chains in the rougher parts of town it wouldn't be my fault I was mugged, but I should have been a bit more prepared for it (and if I am prepared for it, then there's no reason not to do so).

  34. While I don't condone degrading behavior or misogyny, I think Dave Chappelle said it best:

    "The girl says "Oh uh-uh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a whore!" Which is true. Gentlemen, that is true. Just because they dress a certain way doesn't mean they are a certain way. Don't ever forget it. But ladies, you must understand that is fucking confusing. It just is. Now that would be like me, Dave Chappelle, the comedian, walking down the street in a cop uniform. Somebody might run up on me, saying, "Oh, thank God. Officer, help us! Come on. They're over here. Help us!" "Oh-hoh! Just because I'm dressed this way does not make me a police officer!" See what I mean? All right, ladies, fine. You are not a whore. But you are wearing a whore's uniform."

    Cosplay and sexuality go hand in hand so it is not surprising that some guys would act that way. Some might say that a woman should have the right to dress as she pleases and that is true but then one must understand that there are consequences that come with those choices.

    By the same token it should be my right to live with my front door open if I choose to and that just because I do, does not give someone the right to walk in and rob me but that's not the way the world works

    • I can see that some people could think this way, but you have to keep in mind that this is at Comic Con… there is a context here, it's not like these ladies are walking down the street dressed that way… and even if they're dressed in a rather sexy way, I doubt that this is the kind of behavior they'll encounter from people crossing them on the street.

      • Well Jerry Seinfeld is another comic to have approached this subject. The truth is a lot of men behave like primates and it is unacceptable but on the flip side, dressing in kinky or revealing outfits has its downsides. As someone mentioned previously, one cannot complain about the portrayal of women as sex objects in comics and then say that dressing like them empowers them.

        I am as hot blooded a guy as any and I cannot help but look at women in provocative clothing. I find women to be beautiful and I like looking at beautiful things. With that being said, society has given us certain codes and norms and our over-sexed society allows for objectification of men and women. Sexual liberty comes at a cost and any woman who tells me she is more comfortable in high heel shoes, tight mini-skirts etc, needs to re-examine her priorities.

        I agree and sympathize with Mandy Caruso. She is not dressed in an overly provocative manner and the guy interviewing her was obviously a socially inept douchebucket but the case is not indicative of the greater problem we face in society. Both sides are to blame!

        I don't want my daughters going out think that it's their right to dress up like whores and that there exists some societal shield to protect their right to do so. When I see sixteen year old girls walking around hardly wearing underwear, my first thought is "their daddy must be proud" not "good on them for being empowered and independent young women.

        As much as males need to be gentlemen, females need to be ladies – it works both ways.

  35. *Applauds* Well done Mandy. That guy needed to be told.
    As a bloke, I can say that a woman dressed in something like this is always going to get male attention but for heavens sake, a lot of guys need to at least learn to be subtle if it's too much to handle and certainly not act like this douche bag.

  36. Is it ironic that the next article on this site features a woman in a tight white Han Solo bathing suit and is titled "Han Solo Swimsuit: Perfect for Water Pistol Fights!"

    I applaud the bravery this woman showed in standing up for herself and fighting for what she believes in. Well done Mandy, well done indeed!

  37. It saddens me that women are treated with such a level of disrespect in this day and age. Its not like they are asking for much here, just to be treated as equal, not lesser, citizens. Women are not responsible for the behaviour of men. It is not acceptable to openly celebrate such a low standard of behaviour anywhere.

    Mandy handled that with class and dignity.