Planning for your pet’s care when you’re gone — way gone

By Sterling “Chip” Camden
Contributing Writer, [GAS]

In recent years, the web has draped its sticky silk over most of our lives.  There’s a web site now for just about every social interaction, business transaction, coming attraction, and useless distraction in which people may engage.  Yet startups still keep finding opportunities that have not been covered.

Sharon Moss identified one such need, and launched aftertherapturepetcare.com to fill it.  Many Christians believe in a literal interpretation of Paul’s first letter to the Thessalonians, 4:16-17, which states that when Jesus returns, those believers who are still living will be caught up into the clouds to meet him in the air.  This passage doesn’t mention the beloved notion that all dogs go to heaven — much less cats, and forget about snakes.  So Christians who love their pets should plan ahead for their care during the seven years of tribulation that follow next in their pieced-together eschatology.  They should go register their pets at After the Rapture Pet Care, so arrangements can be made for them.

Sharon Moss is a believer in the rapture herself.  So who will take care of all these pets?  Why, volunteer unbelievers, of course.  Yes, they are volunteers.  They will not be paid, nor does the site collect any fees.  This is not a scam.  These people are serious.  Yes, they can be serious.

If you’re an unbeliever like me, you can register to be a pet caretaker in the unlikely event of a Rapture.  There’s no cost, and if you don’t believe in the rapture then there’s no risk either, other than sharing your information online.  You trusted Google Buzz, didn’t you?  Plus, it scores some points with your Christian friends, and shows them that atheists and agnostics aren’t all a bunch of cruel, hateful people with no values.  You have to wonder about what these Christians are thinking, though:  “It’s so nice of him to volunteer to care for little Miss Daisy, it’s really too bad he’s going to burn in hell forever.”

I can tell you, though, if a Rapture does occur I don’t think living up to my pet-sitting obligations would be high on my to-do list.

Speaking of which, I notice that phrase a lot on the site: “If the Rapture happens.”  That doesn’t sound very believer-like to me.  You’re supposed to say “When the Rapture happens,” not “If”.  Better watch out, Sharon, one little slip like that could cause the Great Pumpkin to pass you by!

Hat tip to Marian for the link.

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10 Responses to Planning for your pet’s care when you’re gone — way gone

  1. Thanks for the article. To answer your wonderings…

    Do we think of our volunteers as “it’s really too bad he’s going to burn in hell forever”? Not at all. But, if we didn’t promise to NOT try to convert our volunteers, they would not volunteer, so it’s a zero-sum scenario. We do hope that, if the Rapture happens, they might give it some thought – kind of a pre-witness sort of thing.

    And your “If the Rapture happens” question is a good one. What I mean when I say that is, “if the Rapture happens while this service exists.” It’s been over 2,000 years, and it could be another 2,000 years until Christ returns.

    Yep – we are serious. And we appreciate our volunteers immensely. Would we prefer they become believers? Of course, but we won’t break our promise to not proselytize them.

  2. Thanks for the article. To answer your wonderings…

    Do we think of our volunteers as “it’s really too bad he’s going to burn in hell forever”? Not at all. But, if we didn’t promise to NOT try to convert our volunteers, they would not volunteer, so it’s a zero-sum scenario. We do hope that, if the Rapture happens, they might give it some thought – kind of a pre-witness sort of thing.

    And your “If the Rapture happens” question is a good one. What I mean when I say that is, “if the Rapture happens while this service exists.” It’s been over 2,000 years, and it could be another 2,000 years until Christ returns.

    Yep – we are serious. And we appreciate our volunteers immensely. Would we prefer they become believers? Of course, but we won’t break our promise to not proselytize them.

  3. Thanks for the article. To answer your wonderings…

    Do we think of our volunteers as "it’s really too bad he’s going to burn in hell forever"? Not at all. But, if we didn't promise to NOT try to convert our volunteers, they would not volunteer, so it's a zero-sum scenario. We do hope that, if the Rapture happens, they might give it some thought – kind of a pre-witness sort of thing.

    And your "If the Rapture happens" question is a good one. What I mean when I say that is, "if the Rapture happens while this service exists." It's been over 2,000 years, and it could be another 2,000 years until Christ returns.

    Yep – we are serious. And we appreciate our volunteers immensely. Would we prefer they become believers? Of course, but we won't break our promise to not proselytize them.

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