By Mark O’Neill
Contributing Writer, [GAS]
If you blog for a living like I do, you’ll know that some days the words just don’t come. For hours, you’ll sit there looking for stories or you’ll try to make the words come out to no avail. Or you’ll simply not be bothered, give up and watch daytime TV instead. There’s been many a time when Kiltak has sent me an IM message with a not so subtle “planning on posting anything today Mark?” to which I’ll reply “sssh…Oprah’s starting!”
Well if you find yourself in that terrible word drought situation then I have the very thing for you – the Lazy Blogger Post Generator! Simply choose your phrase, hit the button and out pops your post! Simple as pie!
So I chose my words and phrases, hit the button and…..here’s my Pulitzer winning post –
Blimey! I just got slapped with a wet salmon – really – I have not updated this since dearest Mummy was still alive… You would not believe how terribly tardy the Victorian internet can be. I prostrate myself in sorrow and beg thy forgiveness..
I am lost in a sea of pseudo-olde-english with finding Jesus (after someone told me he was lost), selling my soul to Google, just generally being an embarrassment to the bodyguards of the blogger I am stalking, my day drifts aimlessly from lunchtime to sun down and beyond. I am beyond drunk most of the time. I wish you could be here to share it.
I swear on the bones of my ancestors I will make more of an effort to blog more often. You have my word! Don’t hold your breath though, you’re likely to turn blue..
I’m convinced Kiltak will never notice the difference….I can automate this stuff and spend my whole day on the beach living a life of luxury and getting paid! Wait…did I just say that out loud?