By JR Raphael
Contributing Writer, [GAS]
Who doesn’t love summertime? Warm weather, cool pools, and enough new gadgets to give even the best bikini-clad babe a run for her “hottest thing in sight” title. No need to sweat over what to buy, though: We’re making it easy for you. Behold the 10 hottest new tech toys making a splash this summer.
1. The Collapsible Surfboard
The worst part of hitting the waves — theoretical shark attacks aside — is the pain of lugging your board from home to the shores. Fear not, though, surf fanatics: The collapsible surfboard will make toting easier than Paris Hilton on a Wednesday night. The product, developed by Nicholas Notara, is constructed of carbon fiber. Two pins and a quick-release lever join two halves together and let you split them apart in seconds. Notara says the board maintains a standard weight distribution so you can ride the waves without fear of wiping out and becoming fish food.
2. The Waterproof MP3 Player
You may want some tunes to accompany your ocean adventure, and that’s where Speedo’s new waterproof MP3 player comes into play. The 1GB player lets you put water worries away. You can dive right in and keep right on jamming with its 10 foot waterproof protection. The battery will let you listen to your tunes under the sea for as long as nine hours. We recommend the Little Mermaid soundtrack. That Ariel chick was pretty hot, and — you never know — play her song and she just may swim over.
3. The Tub Talking Tool
Let’s say you lure Ariel back to your place. Well, you’re gonna have to get in the bath, and the Uniden bathing phone may come in handy. The handset is completely waterproof and won’t be harmed by any splashing that might occur. Why bother with a tub telephone, you might ask? Ordering Chinese food without having to get out, of course. One suggestion, though: Don’t get the flounder. We hear that mer-lady’s got some serious seafood issues.
4. The High-Tech Pen
Summer’s the time to travel, and LiveScribe’s new Pulse pen will revolutionize the way you do business on the road. The pen captures what you’re writing in digital form and also records any accompanying audio, so it’ll be simple later to read your notes and play back your humming of “Under the Sea” at the same time. I can never get that damned song out of my head.
5. The Pocket-Sized Karaoke
Stuck in a hotel on a rainy vacation night? The Tomy Hi-Kara claims to be the world’s smallest karaoke machine ever invented. A cube measuring only 2.75″ in height, width, and depth, this bundle of joy will give you limitless lyrics and tunes with its tiny screen interface. Songs can be downloaded from the company’s web site — and your dignity can be left behind there, too.
6. The Projecting Cell Phone
So you’re home from your trip; now it’s time to show off all those vacation photos. No need to have everyone stare into your tiny cell phone screen any more, though: The new ChinaKing projector lets you actually project images from your phone onto any surface. It can generate images as big as 30 inches at 640 x 480 resolution. Memories of your drunken karaoke escapades will never look sharper.
7. The First-Person RC Car
Most guys just don’t outgrow the fascination with remote control cars. The new Fat Shark first-person RC, though, puts you in the driver’s seat like never before. This baby comes equipped with a car-mounted camera that connects to special virtual reality goggles, so you really feel like you’re behind the wheel. If that’s not enough, you can control the camera simply by moving your head to the left or right and watching it move with you. Between the thoughts of this and that blasted mermaid, I may not be getting much sleep tonight.
8. The Spill-Proof See-Through Keyboard
Speaking of not getting much sleep tonight, a new kind of keyboard makes, uh, spill concerns a thing of the past. Kong Fanwen’s keyless glass creation uses a camera with “motion capture technology” to pick up your finger’s movements and translate them into text. The glass surfaced can’t be damaged by liquid, and it even lights up in the dark, too.
9. The Injector Knife
Heading on a camping trip with the family? The WASP Injector Knife will let you feel more secure in the event of a wild animal or insane ex-girlfriend attack. The weapon forces a shot of freezing compressed air into the stab wound after you attack, making sure your single hit will do some lasting damage. Its manufacturers recommend also using it for protection from underwater predators. Go anywhere near that mermaid and I’ll kill you.
10. The Sunrise Simulation
You can’t always arise to nature’s wake-up call — but with the Glo Pillow, you can come pretty close. This cushiony companion has a built-in LED system within its surface. You tell it when you want to wake up, and 45 minutes before, the pillow will slowly start to glow. It has a built-in battery that charges during the day.
Bonus: Good Vibrations
A happy man has a happy significant other, so as an added bonus, we’re giving you a high-tech toy for her. It’s the Estee Lauder TurboLash vibrating mascara — seriously. Estee Lauder calls it “the world’s first battery-operated, vibrating, all-effects mascara.” It’s evidently supposed to make it easier for women to apply. We have some other uses in mind. In any case, though, get it for your girl and see what happens.
So there you have it: the 10 hottest tech toys for the summer. Whatever your pleasure, the power is in your hands — or, in the case of our last item, in hers. That cute little crab guy said it best: Darling, it’s better down where it’s wetter. Hey, he said it. Pervert.