The Geek’s Ultimate Guide to Picking Up Girls

Unless you’ve been living under a virtual rock, you’ve heard the meme bouncing around the Internet about how girls love Geeks. We published the 12 Reasons a Geek Will Steal Your Girlfriend in 2008 last month, but wanted to put something together for the geeks out there who may be feeling left out, or who may be thinking “where is all this love for geeks? I’m certainly not seeing any movement in my Action-O-Meter… how can I get a piece of that?”

With that in mind, we proudly present Geeky Tips for Picking Up Chicks. We’re not giving away all our secrets, but these basics should be enough to get you started… and you can begin milking your geekiness for all the sweet ass it’s worth.

• Leave no stone unturned in the hunt for geekophilic females

Before you can sweep girls off their feet with your dazzling knowledge of Star Wars trivia, you’ve got to find them. You could hit up the standard nightclubs and bars, but those settings aren’t particularly conducive for fully deploying the Geek’s Girl-Getting Toolbox.

Your best bet is to frequent places with a high concentration of geek-friendly girls. Here are a few good places to start your search:

MMOGs – Seriously. MMOGs, or Massive Multiplayer Online Video Games, are a buzzing hive of Geekdom and have actually attracted a sizable female population. The problem for girls online is that guys playing games like WoW, Eve Online, and Second Life act like complete asshats around them. Whether they’re asking girls “Are you REALLY a girl?” over and over, kneeling to propose at their first meeting, or just reverting back to fourth-grade antics like boob jokes and ass grabbing, most dudes do not play it cool around pixelated chicks. If you want a shot at pulling some Alliance tail, just don’t be a jerk. Treat women with respect and courtesy—it’s good advice even when you’re not trying to score.

Most girls also like guys with wealth and power, even in the online realm, so don’t be afraid to break out your uber armor and weapons, gratuitously call out your guild bodyguards or buy her that pricey magic bow she’s had her eye on in the marketplace.

Once you’ve secured the affections of your online lady and verified that she’s not really a guy, 600 lbs., or one of those dudes from To Catch a Predator, a geeky sex-fueled weekend romp is but a $200 plane ticket away; to say nothing of the regular Teamspeak heavy petting you’ll enjoy.

Blogger/Tweet Ups – If you’re lucky enough to live in a city with lots of bloggers and social-media types, you need to explore the world of online-to-real world meet ups. Bloggers, Twitterers, and other online-media types like to get out from behind their keyboards every now then for a drink. Find out where and when these events are happening and show up with your game face on. Grab a nametag and start a’ mingling. It’s good to roll with a wingman or two at these events if you can, so you don’t look desperate. Talk about how revolutionary you think Twitter is, how big your RSS subscriber base is, and how WordPress totally owns the mess that is Drupal.

Bookstores – The bookstore scene is great because you can be selective about your targets based on the area of the store they are browsing. The Fantasy/Sci-Fi section is an obvious choice, as is Computers and Programming and Photography and the Arts. Spend some time cycling around the shelves on a Saturday afternoon and work your geeky mojo. Sections to avoid meeting women in: self help, debt management and pregnancy health.

• Be smart. Be funny. Be funny and smart

Girls LOVE guys who can make them laugh. Geek-loving girls love guys who can make them laugh AND think. The tricky part is to sound simultaneously humble, smart, funny and confident. Sly, self-depreciating humor lets her know you don’t take yourself too seriously but that you’re totally comfortable in your own skin. Bonus points for landing a joke about Creative Commons.

• Don’t be afraid to bling out your geek

Don’t knock it- bling and flash work. Pop out your scratch-less iPhone, check your binary watch for the time and work your pimpin’ Swiss Army knife/USB Drive into the conversation. The idea is to let her know you have enough income to pay for the finer gadgets in life (read: shoes, designer handbags, diamond earrings) while exhibiting your obvious knowledge of how to program the TiVo. Girls like guys who enjoy spending money on the finer things in life, so make sure to drop lots of subtle hints that you are a provider, even if the only thing you’re planning on providing is a night in the ol’ bone sack.

• It’s all about the numbers, so talk to them all

Sometimes you can’t peg a geek-loving girl right away and have to do some conversational investigation. Talk to women everywhere. You’re a hunter looking for the right female, the one who might think your collection of hand-painted Mech micros are cute; the one who will cuddle up to watch your Firefly DVD; the one who end up jumping on for a fun run while watching the crew of Serenity bash around in space. Talking to women is just like Halo—you get better with practice.

• Be good about the follow up. Be nice, and don’t blow it for other geeks

An important piece of advice? Don’t be a jerk. If there’s a sudden surge of Geeks plowing through women with one-night stands and treating their hookups badly after a little nookie it’s going to make it a lot harder for the rest of us to keep this whole “Geeks Are Sexy” thing rolling. Treat women with respect and don’t tell them lies about wanting to get together again, when all you’re planning on doing is slipping them a fake phone number. Be nice! After all, they just did a job on your knob. The smart Geek also knows that bad word of mouth can kill future prospects.

So there you have it. A golden elixir of tippery to help you score some geek-loving lady action. Go forth, my horny army of code loving, Boing Boing reading, sarcastically cool Geeks. Go forth… and prosper.

Oh and before we go, you’ll be pleased to learn that we partnered with our friends from Dailyidea to bring you this excellent video accompaniment to the article.

If you enjoyed this article, be sure to read this one too: 12 Reasons Why a Geek Will Steal Your Girlfriend in 2008

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57 Responses to The Geek’s Ultimate Guide to Picking Up Girls

  1. epic fail.

    you completely forgot that the majority of geek loving women are geeks themselves. designer handbags? wth would i want with that? i'd take a new video card or a console game that i forgot to pre-order before i'd be happy with an overpriced purse with someone else's name on it.

    • Hey :) the article addresses both :)

      Whatever is your thing, you just have to adapt the article to your tastes :)

  2. epic fail.

    you completely forgot that the majority of geek loving women are geeks themselves. designer handbags? wth would i want with that? i’d take a new video card or a console game that i forgot to pre-order before i’d be happy with an overpriced purse with someone else’s name on it.

    • Hey :) the article addresses both :)

      Whatever is your thing, you just have to adapt the article to your tastes :)

  3. well what about all those guys on WOW that play as girls cause they know guys are nice and give them stuff? that's why guys ask if they're REALLY A GIRL. =P cause there are a lot of those running around. though i don't play WOW myself…

  4. well what about all those guys on WOW that play as girls cause they know guys are nice and give them stuff? that’s why guys ask if they’re REALLY A GIRL. =P cause there are a lot of those running around. though i don’t play WOW myself…

  5. I'm a geek girl/designer buff. I'm always willing to mix my geekyness with designer goods. Like, the new swarovski USB drives (shaped like a heart or a lock), a Louis Vuitton handbag that fits my laptop, the Tiffany cellphone ornaments, the swarovski iPod earphones…However, all geeky girls are different and the most important thing is you are able to make ends meet. Try finding something femenine but geeky at the same time.

  6. I’m a geek girl/designer buff. I’m always willing to mix my geekyness with designer goods. Like, the new swarovski USB drives (shaped like a heart or a lock), a Louis Vuitton handbag that fits my laptop, the Tiffany cellphone ornaments, the swarovski iPod earphones…However, all geeky girls are different and the most important thing is you are able to make ends meet. Try finding something femenine but geeky at the same time.

  7. I agree, I'm not so much into the designer handbags although I'll take cute clothes and shoes anyway.

    I'll take a cool computer over flashy jewelry, but don't mess with my WoW!

    For the Horde :)

  8. I agree, I’m not so much into the designer handbags although I’ll take cute clothes and shoes anyway.

    I’ll take a cool computer over flashy jewelry, but don’t mess with my WoW!

    For the Horde :)

  9. Some half joking (or not ?) comments:

    # MMOGs… not useful to me, i don't play them (well there is one i would like to play but i'm afraid i will lose myself in it…)

    # Blogging… that's better … if only i'll go blogging where there are more girls that live less then thousands kilometers from where I live :-)

    # Going to a bookstore and… ignoring books for girls… are you sure of your geekiness Kiltalk ? :-) (this could be useful there is a big and geeky bookstore where i go often… for the books)

    # Be smart. Be funny. Be funny and smart. Oh yes, there are a lot of girls/woman i've become friend online (and offline) thanks to that… but that's all… friend. The don't be a jerk from the MMOG part help a lot even in the less advanced technology that chatrooms are too!

    # Talk to them all… that is where i fail, i'm too lazy. :-)

  10. Some half joking (or not ?) comments:
    # MMOGs… not useful to me, i don’t play them (well there is one i would like to play but i’m afraid i will lose myself in it…)
    # Blogging… that’s better … if only i’ll go blogging where there are more girls that live less then thousands kilometers from where I live :-)
    # Going to a bookstore and… ignoring books for girls… are you sure of your geekiness Kiltalk ? :-) (this could be useful there is a big and geeky bookstore where i go often… for the books)
    # Be smart. Be funny. Be funny and smart. Oh yes, there are a lot of girls/woman i’ve become friend online (and offline) thanks to that… but that’s all… friend. The don’t be a jerk from the MMOG part help a lot even in the less advanced technology that chatrooms are too!
    # Talk to them all… that is where i fail, i’m too lazy. :-)

  11. firefly on Blu-ray now that would be awesome :),not really dating related but Jane's hat would look so shiny in full HD.

    Now to improve my nub skill sat WoW so could actually by that bow

  12. firefly on Blu-ray now that would be awesome :),not really dating related but Jane’s hat would look so shiny in full HD.

    Now to improve my nub skill sat WoW so could actually by that bow

  13. Unfortunately when I was in college, geeks were, well, geeks, someone to be avoided if you're a hot female. Unless they wanted help on their physics exams. But now geeks are all the rage, and according to your website, sexy! I guess I was just ahead of my time. ;-)

  14. Unfortunately when I was in college, geeks were, well, geeks, someone to be avoided if you’re a hot female. Unless they wanted help on their physics exams. But now geeks are all the rage, and according to your website, sexy! I guess I was just ahead of my time. ;-)

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  16. I love geeks. I'm going to try some of these spots, but I'd love to meet some nice geeky guys in NYC. Unlike some of the posters, I do love my designer handbags, shoes, clothes etc. Geek boys everywhere need to man up and ask out that chick who just winked/smiled at you…you never know.

  17. I love geeks. I’m going to try some of these spots, but I’d love to meet some nice geeky guys in NYC. Unlike some of the posters, I do love my designer handbags, shoes, clothes etc. Geek boys everywhere need to man up and ask out that chick who just winked/smiled at you…you never know.

  18. I myself am a girl, and love geeks!

    Plus, online games are awesome, the boys on them are so cute :)

    goodluck guys girl hunting lol x

  19. I myself am a girl, and love geeks!
    Plus, online games are awesome, the boys on them are so cute :)
    goodluck guys girl hunting lol x

  20. thats stupid

    you can only get girls if you act like a jerk, thats why jerks get all the girls lol

    • oh, really? I'm a girl and I would rather have a caring guy than a rude asshole, thank you very much.

    • False. Jerks don't get girls, they get bitches. Occasionally they get lucky and get a nice one, but I'd say that frequency is pretty low. And if more geeks would get out there and lay claim to the nice ones, then maybe the jerks would get even less. ;)

  21. thats stupid
    you can only get girls if you act like a jerk, thats why jerks get all the girls lol

    • oh, really? I’m a girl and I would rather have a caring guy than a rude asshole, thank you very much.

    • False. Jerks don’t get girls, they get bitches. Occasionally they get lucky and get a nice one, but I’d say that frequency is pretty low. And if more geeks would get out there and lay claim to the nice ones, then maybe the jerks would get even less. ;)

  22. Pingback: Geeks are sexy! | Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

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  24. My boyfriend is a techno and movie geek. It’s so cute when he goes off on a tangent about the latest gadget or movie. It made him happy when I enjoyed watching “Forbidden Planet” with him!

  25. My boyfriend is a techno and movie geek. It's so cute when he goes off on a tangent about the latest gadget or movie. It made him happy when I enjoyed watching "Forbidden Planet" with him!

  26. Dumbest thing I've recently read. Geek and designers bag? or other shit? and to all this *smart*. Guys, seriously, the f*ck? If you're smart and geeky you just don't care about that shit, you do your stuff (mostly some kinda science e.g. cs, physics etc) and probably only that matters to you, not your *shiny* iPhone.

  27. Dumbest thing I’ve recently read. Geek and designers bag? or other shit? and to all this *smart*. Guys, seriously, the f*ck? If you’re smart and geeky you just don’t care about that shit, you do your stuff (mostly some kinda science e.g. cs, physics etc) and probably only that matters to you, not your *shiny* iPhone.

  28. Why is it bookstores are always listed as good places to meet people? Take it from someones who has spent the better part of eight years working in bookstores, this is not good advice. You won't find a higher concentration of geeky and intelligent folks in a bookstore.

  29. Why is it bookstores are always listed as good places to meet people? Take it from someones who has spent the better part of eight years working in bookstores, this is not good advice. You won’t find a higher concentration of geeky and intelligent folks in a bookstore.

  30. I think you forgot one the best places – Cons! What better place then where you know you have at least one interest in common. Plus it is not at all weird for strangers to start up conversations. And the room party are always fun. Gaming cons are great since you can meet other gamers at LARPs, or table top sessions. Even a little Apples to Apples in the lobbies is a great conversation starter.

    One piece of advice. Don't come up to me and ask how big my … (then point to my breasts) are. Fail on two levels. One, rudeness when it is the first thing you say to me. Two, if you can't say the word breasts, you don't need to ask.

  31. I think you forgot one the best places – Cons! What better place then where you know you have at least one interest in common. Plus it is not at all weird for strangers to start up conversations. And the room party are always fun. Gaming cons are great since you can meet other gamers at LARPs, or table top sessions. Even a little Apples to Apples in the lobbies is a great conversation starter.

    One piece of advice. Don’t come up to me and ask how big my … (then point to my breasts) are. Fail on two levels. One, rudeness when it is the first thing you say to me. Two, if you can’t say the word breasts, you don’t need to ask.

  32. Eh.. didn't really dig the article. Granted the don't be a jerk points are valid… but in this article, and the previous one, the mention of money and buying things kept coming up. Felt like it was kinda saying women are gold diggers, and if you're only a geek money (and buying her things with it) is about the only way you'll get a girl. Lame.

  33. Why does this article make it seem like all guys want is sex??? I mean I guess if the article is all about guys trying to find a one-night stand, but let me tell you that is NOT the kind of guy I respect.

    • I didn't get that feeling from it.. I got the feeling that in order for a geek to get a woman he's got to have money.. and she's gotta be a gold digging whore rofl

  34. Why does this article make it seem like all guys want is sex??? I mean I guess if the article is all about guys trying to find a one-night stand, but let me tell you that is NOT the kind of guy I respect.

  35. Why does this article make it seem like all guys want is sex??? I mean I guess if the article is all about guys trying to find a one-night stand, but let me tell you that is NOT the kind of guy I respect.

  36. My fiancé and I met in this club called the science fiction forum at Stony Brook. It was… you guessed in a science fiction library! So this really works! But the key is TALKING to the girl. You don't know how many guys in that group just seemed uninterested, so I moved on. I think I made the right choice, though. :-D

  37. My fiancé and I met in this club called the science fiction forum at Stony Brook. It was… you guessed in a science fiction library! So this really works! But the key is TALKING to the girl. You don't know how many guys in that group just seemed uninterested, so I moved on. I think I made the right choice, though. :-D

  38. My fiancé and I met in this club called the science fiction forum at Stony Brook. It was… you guessed in a science fiction library! So this really works! But the key is TALKING to the girl. You don’t know how many guys in that group just seemed uninterested, so I moved on. I think I made the right choice, though. :-D