Z-Day preparedness is important, people. That’s why, in addition to your barred windows and bedside axes, everyone should have a bottle of one of Demeter’s Zombie fragrances, guaranteed* to “make the dead simply pass by without offending.” The perfume works by masking your natural human scent — that “un-undeadness,” if you will — with a veil of deep earthy notes… like dried leaves, mushrooms, mildew and moss. Mmmm. And of course, there are different versions for Him and for Her.
* Maybe “guaranteed” is too strong a word.
Whether the eau de toilette actually works will be revealed during the looming apocalypse, but the spritz is no joke: Demeter also makes fragrances that smell like Play-Doh, Clean Windows, Bourbon, and Holy Water. No scent is off-limits, so the smell of barely-dead bodies shouldn’t seem all that surprising.