[Source: Wendy Macnaughton | Via Forbes]
According to this, the only reason to EVER check your email if you haven't just checked it in the last 3 minutes is in order to estrange family.
In fact, the only time you SHOULD check your email is when someone used an alternate form of communication to TELL YOU that they sent you an email, but for some reason didn't just tell you the thing they emailed you.
Individually, the points are moderately amusing. As a whole, the piece is fail.
Do some people actually need to waste time with a user-initiated action in order to retrieve e-mails?
Even if you have the most rubbish 70s-era e-mail system, your client probably still has an option to retrieve e-mail on a timer.