Subscribe by Email“Twitter is being used by vegetarians” says US military
November 3, 2008 by Mark O'Neill | 7 commentsBy Mark O’Neill
Contributing Writer, [GAS]
The US military has concluded in a report that the online microblogging service, Twitter, could end up being used by terrorists to organise an attack or to communicate covertly with one another.
“Twitter has become a social activism tool for socialists, human rights groups, communists, vegetarians, anarchists, religious communities, atheists, political enthusiasts, hacktivists and others to communicate with each other and to send messages to broader audiences,” reads the document.
Since when have we thrown vegetarians into the terrorist category?! If we’re counting vegetarians as “enemies of the state” then I’d better get my girlfriend locked up! “My God! She’s holding a carrot stick in her hand! We’re all going to die! Step away from the Twitter feed!”
- Keep on Twittering – even when Twitter is down
- Make life easier by automating all your Twitter invites
- Using GTalk and Twitter to update your Google Calendar
- Organize your Twitter followers into “crowds”
If it was PETA/ALF, then I would agree.
Vegetarians are just beginners according to this: http://tinyurl.com/6f7ylh
I’m a vegetarian, atheist who believes in human rights. Come lock me up because I’m covertly communicating with other people!
And religious communities, so does that mean almost all of the world then?
US military is more stupid than I realised.
actually, carrots can be quite deadly:
http://flickr.com/photos/stoweboyd/2227022237/
When they do start rounding us up, here are a few names to put on the list:
Bill Cosby, Jack LaLanne, Hank Aaron, Mary Tyler Moore, Clint Eastwood, Carl Lewis, Dick Gregory, Doris Day, Bob Barker, and Dennis Kucinich. Don’t forget Chelsea Clinton (daughter of Bill & Hillary Clinton) and Lauren Bush (granddaughter of George H. W. Bush and niece of George W. Bush) – there’s nothing like locking up the President’s family for un-American dietary habits.
The history books will need a few annotations as well, to note the veggorist leanings of: Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Henry Ford, Albert Schweitzer, Mahatma Gandhi, Richard Wagner, and Coretta Scott King.
Perhaps the most surprising, though, is the one we all know and love, an icon who is an integral part of the American childhood experience, and who is still on government-funded children’s television five years after he passed away – Fred Rogers.
We all know military intelligence is an oxymoron, but it takes a sick, twisted person to imply, even indirectly, that Mr. Rogers is a terrorist. With all due respect to his memory, I don’t think I want them to be my neighbor.
Yup, we have been terrorists for a while. One false move and we will attack with killer tofu.
I think the military is dangerously stupid.
Speaking of Chelsea Clinton:
There is bad news about her father.
It is opined that Bill Clinton committed racist hate crimes, and I am not free to say anything further about it.
Respectfully Submitted by Andrew Y. Wang, J.D. Candidate
B.S., Summa Cum Laude, 1996
Messiah College, Grantham, PA
Lower Merion High School, Ardmore, PA, 1993
(I can type 90 words per minute, and there are probably thousands of copies on the Internet indicating the content of this post. Moreover, there are innumerable copies in very many countries around the world.)
_________________
“If only it were possible to ban invention that bottled up memories so they never got stale and faded.” Off the top of my head—it came from my Lower Merion High School yearbook.